Knowing the Wind

 You can only get through things if you don't back down. If you stay on your feet and see things through. It's incredibly easy to back down, but that won't get you anywhere. You've got to see where things go, and be game to follow the trails that present themselves. You've got to open your mind and be willing to go out into the frontier. For many of us, or all of us, the frontier is really within ourselves. Its opening doors within ourselves to unseen vistas of thought and feeling. Its expanding our consciousness and perception. Underneath all drives is the drive to become, to grow and advance, to awaken more deeply to this mystery of life. When we recognize this core driving all other forces and impulses, we can modify our approach to maximize the efficiency and security of our movements. The way comes to us as much as we go out to it. We have to let it in, let it have its word, then it'll turn in us and become a reply. We've got to allow movement to be what it is, for the Spirit is in everything. It is the mover, the thinker, and the doer. It holds the cards. When we listen to the wind we can see the feathers pass in the sky, we can know what way to turn, what path to follow. We need to open the door to the wind so we swim in the full power of the Spirit. The Spirit is the great door opener. Opening the doors of our soul to the many waters of our life. In the Spirit we may change our mind, we may see outside what we know and are familiar with. There are doors to other places, other ways, other times. The spirit is with us, the way before us. What do we need? Who are we? What is our path?

All doors and all ways are open in our mind. Where shall we go? What shall we do? Where blows the wind? 

The Running Wind

 -Wind runs against red Wind seeking Light and Freedom...

All of these parts of ourself change color as our values change. Necessary order morphs into debilitating control. Excessive sexual desire or desirable ecstasy? How does one navigate this world when right and wrong may not fit into fixed categories of permissible and impermissible behavior?

 Good parts become bad parts when they no longer fit into the mold we perceive to sustain our wellbeing. Here, our mind enters a state of war against itself. I believe this happens when our perceptions misalign with reality. Here, we may long to terminate the opposition to obtain permanent order, when rather our faulty judgment holds the blame and must come unraveled for us to proceed more wisely. When we continue to proceed with war against ourself, failing to recognize the underlying similarity of all parties, we continue to undermine our own ability to succeed. Proper integration, not elimination ensures order and lasting success. 

Energetically or vibrationally speaking,  this means that peace comes through the will of peace, not through a will dominated by or held in conflict through war. The whole of the self, of the mind, must unite for that self to pacify its deeply disturbed sense of being. For it to develop appropriate control of itself. The outlook of war breeds enemies in the mind, in one's perception. Cultivating an outlook of peace unbinds the fabric of apparent incongruency into the potential for symmetry and given time weaves a cloak containing all the threads of ones being. A cloak composed of and reflecting the natural harmony we already possess. 

Negative feeling keeps us from delving into the roots of our being that create this fully integrated self. I think fear ultimately keeps us from looking. Underneath and within all our fear and its corresponding negativity lies a place of infinite positive potential, infinitely more powerful and real than the darkness cast by our fearful mind and feeling heart. A truth much more real. This Light shines forever within us. 

The Light shines from beyond the world we know. When harnessed it shines everywhere, from within all things, being all things, for this world is the Light. 

A Heaven of Peace and Harmony already exist within us, already exist outside of us. I do not believe we have anything to fear because we are the Light. We are not broken, we are Whole. Feeling incomplete is a state of mind, not reality. We are the Infinite in this moment. This is the nature of our soul, of our self.

 All things come to us, all things are us. The world is completely open. Open in all directions. Earth is Heaven. Heaven is Sky. Open Earth, Open Sky. 

 

Still going

 I am not feeling as clear headed as I was during the last post. I've been feeling heavier and more sullen. It has been more difficult to remain centered or at peace. I think I have to look at things differently. My habitual perspectives may not hold water. The idea of experiencing the world in new ways excites me. In particular, the idea that I can break out of the mold. I lose sight of the reality that I can overcome these long term struggles. I don't believe it's possible, I can't or don't see it. After a while I start believing I am incapable of doing so. I believe I have to suffer through whatever negativity I experience as if a great doom or sentence fell upon me. Honestly I think this kind of thinking is all in our head. Truly, we always possess the power the overcome all obstacles in our lives, because...Light constitutes our being, not darkness. 

Even though I forget the fullness of this truth, I carry it unconsciously with me as I combat whatever problem arises. It exists in my optimism, hope, joy, faith, and upwards seeking that however imperfect remain in tact. We can change our behaviors to heal and overcome great adversity through the power of our soul, through the capacity of Light. By embracing who we are and delving deep into the nature of our being, studying and meditating upon the truth and seeking enlightenment we discover this capacity of Light within ourselves. We discover that Light composes and dwells within all things manifest in the Universe. The lack of this understanding keeps us in the darkness of ignorance that plagues our lives with all forms of trouble. When we see the Light and understand it sufficiently, we turn away from habits that trap us in the prison of Maya. The Light tells us how to be free. A path leads out of the suffering of mortal consciousness. It shows us how many ways, how many choices lead out.

Resonating with Amen supercharges our consciousness. This allows us to let go of debilitating karma and choose new pathways to much more open and nourishing terrain. As our soul awakens our ability to manifest positive outcomes accelerates rapidly. The awakening of the soul turns on non-physical mechanics of our being that automatically create harmony and wellness in our lives. Our soul comes from a place of infinite abundance, when it awakens we awaken to this reality of spontaneous well-being. The difficulty lies in listening to Amen in contrast to the voice of our mortal consciousness. While we cultivate our faith in Spirit, we doubt what it reveals to us, and thus doubt in part the wisdom of following it. The sense of our egoic nature remains in part wise and worthy at this point. As long as we continue to let go of our connection to Amen and persist in worldly behaviors we risk damaging that connection and our ability to transcend our troubles. 

Yet even when we fail, and fail terribly, the door remains open. We end up shutting it ourselves in the darkness we created, but only in our minds. The connection, the possibility, liberation, this door remains always open to us, for this is it's nature. 

Amen#2

 I had a pretty good day even though I didn't sleep well. I wasn't as lined up with Om as the day before, but I didn't really stray far. I'm glad the weather has been cooler since I work outside a lot. I'm still feeling really good about being at the Yogi/Amen level. It feels like it is lifting me up from the ground. A lot of other development I have gone through doesn't fundamentally shift my center of gravity. It opens up my mind or my heart more, but hasn't really moved me forward. I feel like I have been stuck at this ego striving level even though I have gone through so much changing and awakening. My core hasn't evolved. It feels really good to be moving in a new direction. I have been really sick of being here for a long time. But I haven't really been ready to move on. I haven't understood why I continue making the same mistakes, nor really wanted to change in my core. 

I understood that competitive striving perpetuates mortal creature consciousness and dukkha, but a big part of me still wanted to exist in that space. I think I let it out over the last couple years and it failed as have all the other parts of me that have tried the same thing. I don't think there is a large enough part of me to pull me back into that space. That's what it feels like. I feel kinda like wholly on this level now. At least the bottom part of my consciousness feel good about shifting upwards. Whereas before much of me wasn't interested in the transition and resisted successfully. I feel capable of being a decent human being and learning how to improve. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Probably not since I was a kid. Even then though I had an asshole side of me. But I think I was much more centered on decency. I was more centered as a very young adult, while at the same time I was exploring egocentricity and desire so part of me was really an asshole. 

Now I am feeling stronger and stronger that I don't want to be in any kind of selfish space. I don't want to be ambitious in that way as well. I think that kind of self-serving ambition is ultimately exhausting. It doesn't compare to the peace you can have when you are able to consciously follow God through the Holy Ghost vibration with the whole of your being. It doesn't provide the same security or comfort. Nor the same depth of feeling and experience. It simply doesn't compare. This realization only comes when you outgrow that striving ego-centered nature. In the midst of it, you are infatuated with what it offers and can offer. The real saturating peace of God is unknown. 

I also do not desire complexity in my life. It is also exhausting. I think it is better to live in a simple and unadorned fashion, where one takes care of what they have without over reaching. Moderation can be a noble virtue. I think God is discovered in simplicity. I think simplicity and humility go hand in hand. When we see what we really can do and we let go of what we can't do, we face ourselves and reality as we are. I think we find peace in this sincerity. Here we stop fighting ourselves and really, the world. Somehow in this acceptance we find God by our side supporting us with love and grace. It seems like we have to strive until we get to this point. That we are meant to push and push until we can't push anymore. Somehow we find another part of ourself here. I think we have to examine ourselves until we reach this point. If we give up before we do so, we will never be able to move forward. This is why honesty is so important with ourself. Even though I suffered greatly, I continued to seek, to strive, and to allow myself to be this way. I wouldn't have gotten to a point where I really feel done with Earthly toil if I had not allowed this process to unfold. I think God is with us in our search, especially when it has spiritual roots at its core. He wants us to open all the doors and look into all the rooms so that we will know what is right when we find it. If we don't fully examine our nature, we will never know what is true. We will never learn who we really are. 

Within our creature selves is the Light that shines out from upon the hill. The light of soul and peace. From this, a heavenly brotherhood may be attained on Earth. By it we are rooted on the spiritual path and guided forward through the Heavens. In our mind, and in our chest, beloved God awaits to be born and to reveal the inner kingdom of Paradise. Not in the world or any world, but within Man, within all that is. 

Amen

I'm wondering if things are going to go back to how they were before. Except this time, they aren't exactly the same. Part of me isn't trying to bend the universe to my will...At least not as much of me. It's interesting how things have been occurring. There is still so much I do not understand about what has happened and what continues to happen. I'm not sure exactly what I will do. I just want to go with God completely. I don't want to have my own agenda. It seems like I've continually missed the mark over these last 14 years trying to allow this awakening process to unfold. I guess I've just been learning the whole time. Learning what awakening isn't and what it is. You can't take your ego with you as much as you'd like to. I hold on I think because I'm afraid to let go, afraid to go deep within. I don't know why it scares me, but it does seem like this fear is my main issue. Afraid of really spreading my spiritual wings and flying all by myself. 

I don't think the ground has ever existed that we cling to so desperately. The expanse is always there, we just ignore it with all the distractions of this world. The infinite and the responsibility of the infinite. The weight of our soul. It feels like I have gotten to a point where I am not the same as I used to be. I think I just burned through all the worldly karma I brought with me. Not all of it, but enough that I don't want to go back...It feels like I belong in this space now, I don't feel nearly as split as I did before. My being feels much more united and excited to move into a more Heavenly space. 

I see very clearly that striving by means of aggressively competing against one's own energies and the energies and agencies of the world only can be taken so far. The soul needs more advanced modes of transportation to awaken to its deepest potentials. A creative uplifting building force replaces this form of striving. It draws from communing with and resonating with the vibration of Amen, the Holy Ghost. This brings the astral energies into balance which eliminates negative accumulated karma and generates positive uplifting karma. It essentially purifies the soul. Taking everything on by oneself through aggressive striving may appear noble and courageous, but it perpetuates the limitations of a mortal will. Once the will becomes spiritualized and pacified (peacified) by Amen it expands to supernatural proportions, towards the infinite. This is the expanding/reaching power of the Soul to which mortal striving cannot compare. Neither can mortal striving attain deep and lasting Peace. Only soulful living through Amen resonance can attain this. The peace attained by the mortal soul is superficial and temporary in comparison. Even in this peace a powerful restlessness remains even if one remains largely unconscious of it. 

The Peace of the soul outweighs anything I could gain for myself on this planet. For my soul is greater than my earthly will. It is where my heart resides. What I could gain here would not bring me happiness nor peace, nor provide that for anyone. Not happiness, peace, or security. All goodness must be built with God for it to last. 

I see how our ignorance leads to our the conditions of our profound collective suffering and disorder. The thirst (mortal desire) of human beings, when it dominates them creates karma of chaos. In this state, we are incapable of living in harmony with the Universe, abiding by the Heavenly Will which established order and goodness among us. Until enough of us are sufficiently in tune with this Heavenly body, we will continue to experience powerful currents of negative karma as a civilization. I hope that in this lifetime, many of us will take the steps necessary to establish institutions and ways that undermine these negative currents which have run rampant for millennia. We are on an upward trend, but we have a great distance to go. 

All these currents, uplifting and destroying, are created by God, are His Light, apart of the seamless Play of Creation. We souls are apart of this Play and experience it's myriad changes while we remain ignorant of Truth. The path of God-Realization frees the soul from ignorance, from evil, even while surrounded by it. It is not our job to eliminate evil forever, but to master it within ourselves. 

Update

 I feel  drained by all the activity I am doing even though I am doing good work. I wish it were easier to be. It seems like nothing is important save being who I am. I have so many feelings about how things are and myself. It is easy to get lost in sentiment, especially hurt sentiment. Who I am as an individual, or how I am, doesn't seem to be important. That I am simply the Light of God seems all important. My personal sentiment distracts me from the Radiant God presence Here and Now. It is not about myself, but about who Thou Art. For Thou art the Lord. Only here is my identity important or I am One with Thee here in this space. So many things lead us from what is important, what is real. The truth of this Reality never alters. The demand of any distraction is not as powerful as it suggests. Our primary concern is always the living body of light everpresent in form. It is not our concern. But what is. What occurs is not important, what is occurring is important. When God is seen, the world is undone. For it ceases to be what it was. What is here is God, and God alone.  

Headless Horseman

Busy week. Mood definitely suffered by the end of it. Things continually evolve. It appears that what things or situations are, is not what they appear to be, but surfaces happen all the time catching, "our", attention. There appears to be no surfaces when one is not caught in them. There doesn't appear to be anything. That's what all these surfaces are in the first place, even as we are born being caught in them. 

There is no place we can go when we see anything, for in seeing things we see no-thing. This no-thing shows that the reality of things is not the appearance, even when they appear out of the corners of our eyes. It shows us that no one is seeing, for this self has neither a head nor eyes. Words that are commonly used pull the attention into false beliefs about what is. They give a concrete sense of reality to personhood while the reality of personhood and self is the emptiness of personhood and self from all things. Personhood and self are a temporary expression of emptiness. 

What we call ourselves or "we" is a temporary expression of emptiness. It truly is emptiness. What we call we, the construct of the person, affects to perpetuate the idea of a lasting and permanent We or I that has definite substance. What is called we believes this definite we is in control when this we is fully apart of the self propelling nature of emptiness and requires no volition. 

People places and things do not exist in the way they are perceived to be. 

What I am is fully beyond the I. To see the full nature of self, what is beyond self must be fully seen. This is what I am. This is who I am. 

A self must fully empty itself of itself to fully become itself. 

It is true that no one is in charge, no one is working, and no thing exists. I am both nothing and everything for both are the same thing. Which is beyond ideas. 

Anything that is not a thing. A person that is not a person. A universe that cannot be found except exactly where it is. And is isn't anywhere at all. 

I think what's tricky is that formal expression is One with what is formless. You can't separate the two. They have to be the same. This is what that is. This is who I am. Who you are. There is no real difference between anyone or anything. It's all the same. We are all the same. A fullness that is empty. An emptiness that is full. Many faces with no face at all. 

To be awake I think is to see this Oneness. Or to see that you see it. No thing lies outside of it. No thing lies inside of it. I think we don't think we see it when we do, for it is everything that we experience.