Amen

I'm wondering if things are going to go back to how they were before. Except this time, they aren't exactly the same. Part of me isn't trying to bend the universe to my will...At least not as much of me. It's interesting how things have been occurring. There is still so much I do not understand about what has happened and what continues to happen. I'm not sure exactly what I will do. I just want to go with God completely. I don't want to have my own agenda. It seems like I've continually missed the mark over these last 14 years trying to allow this awakening process to unfold. I guess I've just been learning the whole time. Learning what awakening isn't and what it is. You can't take your ego with you as much as you'd like to. I hold on I think because I'm afraid to let go, afraid to go deep within. I don't know why it scares me, but it does seem like this fear is my main issue. Afraid of really spreading my spiritual wings and flying all by myself. 

I don't think the ground has ever existed that we cling to so desperately. The expanse is always there, we just ignore it with all the distractions of this world. The infinite and the responsibility of the infinite. The weight of our soul. It feels like I have gotten to a point where I am not the same as I used to be. I think I just burned through all the worldly karma I brought with me. Not all of it, but enough that I don't want to go back...It feels like I belong in this space now, I don't feel nearly as split as I did before. My being feels much more united and excited to move into a more Heavenly space. 

I see very clearly that striving by means of aggressively competing against one's own energies and the energies and agencies of the world only can be taken so far. The soul needs more advanced modes of transportation to awaken to its deepest potentials. A creative uplifting building force replaces this form of striving. It draws from communing with and resonating with the vibration of Amen, the Holy Ghost. This brings the astral energies into balance which eliminates negative accumulated karma and generates positive uplifting karma. It essentially purifies the soul. Taking everything on by oneself through aggressive striving may appear noble and courageous, but it perpetuates the limitations of a mortal will. Once the will becomes spiritualized and pacified (peacified) by Amen it expands to supernatural proportions, towards the infinite. This is the expanding/reaching power of the Soul to which mortal striving cannot compare. Neither can mortal striving attain deep and lasting Peace. Only soulful living through Amen resonance can attain this. The peace attained by the mortal soul is superficial and temporary in comparison. Even in this peace a powerful restlessness remains even if one remains largely unconscious of it. 

The Peace of the soul outweighs anything I could gain for myself on this planet. For my soul is greater than my earthly will. It is where my heart resides. What I could gain here would not bring me happiness nor peace, nor provide that for anyone. Not happiness, peace, or security. All goodness must be built with God for it to last. 

I see how our ignorance leads to our the conditions of our profound collective suffering and disorder. The thirst (mortal desire) of human beings, when it dominates them creates karma of chaos. In this state, we are incapable of living in harmony with the Universe, abiding by the Heavenly Will which established order and goodness among us. Until enough of us are sufficiently in tune with this Heavenly body, we will continue to experience powerful currents of negative karma as a civilization. I hope that in this lifetime, many of us will take the steps necessary to establish institutions and ways that undermine these negative currents which have run rampant for millennia. We are on an upward trend, but we have a great distance to go. 

All these currents, uplifting and destroying, are created by God, are His Light, apart of the seamless Play of Creation. We souls are apart of this Play and experience it's myriad changes while we remain ignorant of Truth. The path of God-Realization frees the soul from ignorance, from evil, even while surrounded by it. It is not our job to eliminate evil forever, but to master it within ourselves.