It's been a while. Like a month since I've posted, though I wrote a few unpublished drafts earlier this month. I was really busy with a work project. Overall I have been doing well. I am finding more balance though I still struggle regularly and I am getting a better hold on my ego. My hair is longer. I have been letting it grow for the first time in a couple years. Also I am moving towards vegetarianism. I tried to go nearly completely vegetarian, but my body still wants a moderate amount of meat. So now I am happy to simply eat healthier, more home cooked meals, significantly less sugar, and nearly entirely sober if not sober. I have been sober for at least a year. I had a beer a month ago. It was kind of nice, but the next day I felt like my connection with others suffered. So I don't think I will be drinking that much if at all. I think when I am healthier, it will have less negative effects and i will be able to be more balanced while drinking. Not that I want to a lot. It's just nice to have a beer with a meal and friends when you go out somewhere. I like the taste a lot. But I need to be really careful because my family has a history of substance abuse and alcoholism.
I have been working on a new schedule and plan going forward over the last month. Since finishing the last work job, which I didn't really want to do, I have been working less and less, finding myself slowing down with the seasonal changes and become somewhat worried about this.
Over the summer I had more energy to push out to some extent and I was pretty consistent with work. I have been working through some significant chaos since last Fall around this time. I still don't have the best grip on my energies and my willpower. But I have moved in the right direction in a lot of ways. My partnership with my long term girlfriend is a lot more solid after some difficult spots and is moving in a spiritualizing direction, which was long needed. I have been eating better and gaining a better understanding of what my body needs. I have been meditating a lot more. I feel more mature and steadier even if still somewhat unsteady. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will be the Kingdom of my life's lasting Harmony.
I'm realizing more clearly that I can't rush through things to get to Peace, Balance, and Security. You have to deal with the cards you have been dealt, with the way you are and the way the world is. Trying to rush through things, is half avoidance, so half-foolishness and folly. It's very difficult to slow down in an accelerating world. Accelerating in a great part towards increased distraction and insanity. This is the great distraction, to get caught up in this hysteria and forget to listen to our inner being. To forget there are other ways of living and being.
We can only work with what we have, so the best way to proceed is with as much care and consideration as we can muster. I think above all it is best to remain open to the Spirit, to God, to His guidance and It's blessing. If possible, to restrain ourselves from excess, to concentrate upon the purifying and uplifting power of God as to improve or perfect the ways we behave. There is a limit to our personal ignorance that is erased by our increasing ability to walk upright. There is a way out of suffering, of the chaos of our inner energies and the outer world: the shining star of Spirit located within our own consciousness.
For those of you who struggle deeply, who suffer immensely, know that there is a way out. Know that God has never left you for a single moment, instead has shared and continues to share in all that you go through and is ever available for comfort and consultation. Freedom exists within your own mind and your own feeling, not outside of yourself, not in any idea, person, or thing. Rather it is the inner Kingdom within your consciousness, within the very heart of your egoic identity, awakened by the superconscious energies of the soul, available to you in this moment. This ground of being extends infinitely in all directions, is ever present and all-knowing. It is your very inmost Self and Being. We possess this power now fully.
Through God-contact and understanding of the Spiritual Principle and its relationship with material-mortal-egoic consciousness, and with a clear and compelling understanding of the favorability of God-consciousness and the complete unsatisfactory nature of mortal-egoic consciousness, a sentient being or soul may retrace their steps to the inner Kingdom of Spiritual Light, the Fountain and Godhead of Transcendent Immortal Being-Bliss that is and remains Ever-Present and Eternal.
This hardship is an opportunity to awaken. It illuminates the incredible folly of selfish pride and ignorance born of excess self-indulgence. It clearly establishes that the folly of a people may topple the foundations of their society and the same of others. It clearly identifies the solution as the careful planning and attention born of they who recognize the Spiritual Principle as the root of all personal, social, and material security. When things go well as they have for many in this country for several generations, it is easy to lose yourself in comforts. It is easy to forget that security is born through vigilance and that actions in the present beget the consequences of the future. Hiding in ourselves, we forget about the struggles of others and of our responsibility to them. We forget about our responsibility to ourself, to be more than an intelligent animal, to be a human soul living with Dignity and seeking our Eternal Home in the Divine. For we are not content here among our comforts, we are increasingly sickened by them, plagued by them. They boil our blood and gouge out our senses. They feed on our life force and destroy our relationships. They will be taken away and we will be left with nothing. For we have not prepared ourselves for what is to come.
As we move forward into the coming manifestation of Darkness, know that the individual connection with Spirit is paramount. The only solution will come from collecting ourselves in the shared allegiance to this Spiritual Light in communities of Light and Liberty. The more we can do this now, the better we will fare, the less suffering we will all collectively endure.
In this great Death we all face, is a great opportunity to change ourselves and our communities for the better. Many of us will succeed in utilizing this transformative power, many will not. We will rise from the ashes of widespread destruction and we will rebuild a greater civilization than we have ever known in current memory. We will continue upward and upward over thousand of years in this current ascending arc of mankind.
