gator rade!!

 Rock n' roll'n down the street. Is this shining the light of intelligence? Shining the light to see what is here.? I am not sure how to describe how I like it. It may be refreshing. Like stepping out of your own shoes. Out of your own skin. Into perhaps, a brighter world. The same world, with more light in the sky. What I like about it, is that I can sit here and this can happen. Just turning up the brightness. Ah yes, this is what this is...This is how this works..It just feels so good. It just feels good inside. So nice. So crisp. So clean. Taco Bell...lol Those bastards! Ha, I just had some really cool thoughts about the Universalized conformist blue drive. It is a will in itself towards order, which makes sense if you think about it, because order is what Reason gives, somehow....I was imaging an order of Will and intelligence beyond my thought, which now newly awakened to the capability of having a will centered upon creating order in the universe can only imagine the possibility of having a will truly centered on Reason. Pure reason. This makes me wonder if when I left school I was not departing a will centered on Tribal consciousness, rather than a will centered on conformist consciousness...yet I think that latter is true. I think I lamented leaving behind the joy of participating in society for the thrill and freedom of radically pursuing my own interests, and Reason above what society deems as reasonable and practical. What I don't understand is how this development relates to this current development of will that I speak of..? It feels like I am uprooting and dissolving the lower stages of consciousness and deeply unraveling them as I go along my way...unlocking their secrets and mastering their content. It feels like in school I was held back by conformist codes, until I gained the heart perhaps to move beyond them. Perhaps there are other fundamental ways of interacting with these dimensions that I am unaware of. Wake up, grow up, clean up, show up...It feels like I am awake by far the most, delving somewhat into the realms of the Absolute. My heart may be at Green sensitive communitarian, and perhaps I am cleaned up to Blue conformist..? It feels like I am showing up on this level to. Like this is the way that I interact with others and the center of gravity where I feel healthiest and most like myself. My life feels very much here, but, it is very important to note the kind of comformist that I am. I conform with Order, not with American society as diverse as it is. Order contains the order that is the established ways of American society, but so much more than this. It is the Order, the Universal Order, all of the programs and their Harmony that I am conforming to. This is why I called it the Universalized conformist blue drive. For it is conformist, and it is blue, yet awakened to the the fullest extent it can reach. I don't fully understand this, this is what I perceive and what I experience. I progress by instinct, and intuition, filling in as much blank space with my limited intellect. Attempting to create a complete picture and understanding of this sprawling universal body and the way in which human beings awaken and evolve, grow and develop on it, which I find perhaps to be the most fascinating of all subjects. God alone may surpass this, yet this is God, at least my development and mind on it. It feels like what I am doing is shining the light of Wisdom, or rather pouring the light of Wisdom, into my being, or being, and illuminating the scope of my being from the lowest to the highest. This may have begun when I left school and the dharma set me on my path after taking me off another. It said to leave behind all that you know and build from the ground up, letting go of conditioned consciousness, for true authentic drive and being. I first fell into darkness...then things got messy, and more, and more messy...until now I find myself here today. It seems now that the light has reached Ego impulse drive, filled it up, spilled over into Conformist blue where it is now properly establishing itself. This is why this whole maneuvering sounds like cleaning up. I think it is cleaning up, but it is also perfecting and mastering I believe. Fulfilling as well. It seems like the scope of these dimensions extends to the extent that I can be humanly awake, which may end at Christ as a Universal body and being. Here, Order is so heavenly beautiful. Order is Celestial. It is Beauty and Harmony, perhaps Ideal, yet an Ideal that may be realized and perhaps become incarnate. I didn't realize it was possible to express oneself with such purity. To will and create in such a way, so free from the heavy grossness that one expects to endure for much of their humanity.