Regardless

Waves of the self
Spinning within a dream
Weaving particles that don't exist
Not yet
Calling for things I can't yet feel
Wandering in an empty room
Waiting for the coal to catch fire
Sitting in the dark
Wondering who in the world is alive
And what that means
Wondering what I really care about
Seeing the things I want
Realizing the emptiness of all things
Feeling the blaze of desire
Realizing the emptiness of the self
Without achievement I am no more or no less than I am with it
No state higher than another
No dream more or less perfect
Yet I still dream, I still yearn
An empty yearn in the flame
There is no self
So what if I burn
So what if I am blind
What of it?
What difference does it make? 
What difference? Truly? 
Am I ultimately the same?
Regardless
I am a mountain
Regardless
I am sea water
Regardless
I am broken people
Regardless
There! Is the dharma
Regardless 
The sky is full of light
Regardless 
I am powerless and powerful
Regardless
All things are tied together
Regardless
I have no name
Regardless
Who am I
Regardless
Who am I
Regardless
I am the space in-between
Regardless
I am one
I am one

It seems like all the things we worry about are beside the point. It seems like the most poignant reality is that "I am God" regardless of what passes here. "I am God" The swell of the infinite overtakes my particular attentions. It lessens their intensity. God says, "Merlin, I AM" and Merlin says, "I AM the Lord, I AM." Merlin looks towards the mountain and God says, "Merlin! Here I AM!" and Merlin says. Oh Lord, I see thee, verily I see thee!"God says to Merlin when Merlin can hear, "Merlin, I AM in all things, all things are in me. Merlin says, "Yes Lord, show me the way." And God says, "In time Merlin, in time I will show you the way. Here I AM, always, Here I AM. Merlin flies up into the wind of the storm looking for His Lord, looking for the faith. Lightening and thunder and great wind. He cries, "Oh Lord, where are thee!" And the Lord says, Merlin ho! Here I AM! In the cloud! In the rain! In the storm! All around thee! Here I AM! Merlin sees the Lord and is carried far by the wind through the tempest about him. "Oh dear Lord, Here, Here I AM. The storm rages, there is not a bird in sight. 

Dear Lord, Here I AM, at your feet on my knees. At the gate of Heaven high above. By your Grace I live alone. Alone by your grace. My life is forfeit. Let it begone in the breeze like pollen carried on the wind. Let it disperse unto the world and not be born again in me. Dear Lord, what have I seen. Too much for mortal eyes. I cannot sleep. Without thee I am nothing. Let me remain here as I am for all of time. You are my master, oh dear Lord. I want not but to be with thee in Heaven. I cannot will myself to do otherwise. No more. You are the Lord, you are my father. I can do not but obey thee. I serve thee until death when I come no more. You are my Lord and Master, I am your servant, you son. You are great and beyond me, I am willing to serve. You are my master. Only thee I obey. It is your will. Thy will be done. Amen