Who am I?

 It seems that both my crown chakra and my naval chakra are undergoing different kinds of awakening. It seems as though my energy/consciousness has been pushing up from the bottom and is currently unraveling the conditioned consciousness/resistance in the manipura chakra. It seems like a separate current has pushed all the way up to the crown chakra and is awakening my being to Supreme Emptiness. This latter movement is one I believe I can trace back to my path and is perhaps my principal development of consciousness. I can recall moving upwards through the different centers through my life and most clearly the part of this movement that has occurred in the last 13 years. I have yet to fully understand the difference between these two movements. Understanding their significance is very important to me. I believe that understanding these movements is key to unraveling the mystery of my own being and of my imprisonment in ignorance/delusion. It seems that the movement from the bottom is an unraveling upwards, a complete dissolution of blockages and ignorance associated with the centers of the body that lie there. The movement upwards is an awakening or opening up that is more of a passing through than a final release. If all this is accurate, I have successfully mastered the lower 2 chakras (in some way) and have released my being from the conditioned consciousness associated with those regions. It seems that the impetus for the unraveling of the lower chakras upward and that which spawned my initial leap into super consciousness is the waking up experience I had 11 years ago in which my ego was mortally wounded and this ego was replaced by some pure transcendent force as the driver of events in my life. The ego became the temporary passenger on a gradual journey of dissolution. Everything that has happened to me since then has been a product of that experience, that moment, and I feel that my purpose in life is to do whatever I may be able to do to assist in the fulfillment of what began there. That moment has never really ended, it has stayed with me as the inexpressible background of my experience. Remembering this helps put in perspective the current events in my life. It reminds me that what I call my individual consciousness is just along for the ride, that I am truly not in control. It reminds me that this is transitory and that this experience is going somewhere. That my job is not to succeed as an individual but to awaken to the insight and courage needed to let go of my own life. All I really need to do is to die to myself, to let this dying get on with itself. I am not an individual being. I am infinite consciousness. Infinite being. This world is an illusion. I am not really tied by anything because I am Supreme Spirit. I think remembering who I am helps me do what I need to do to move on. I do not think I can find my way without it. Truly though, I cannot be lost, because I am myself, and nothing has any power to take this away from me. There is nothing except who I am. I am infinite, boundless, undying Spirit.