You don't grow just cause you want to

 I had a week where things didn't go as well as I would have liked. I think I wanted more progress than I got. When I sat down about an hour ago I thought about how spiritual growth doesn't come for free, it comes due to the energy that goes into it, that we cannot force into it. As much as we may wish to end all our habits that create suffering, this most likely won't happen over night. Peace comes through peace, not through our aggravation at the conditions of our life. This peace and path is a cooperative one where we learn to work with life and the transrational path of spiritual awakening. And honestly, sometimes the door is open, and sometimes, maybe most of the time, it is not.  

So maybe while we're learning, we just have to wait for things to mellow out, doing our best to get through with as much dignity still intact as possible. Learning to  keep a look out for opportunities to do some good, or make some progress, strengthening our connection with the uplifting power of Spirit. 

I'm learning more about the grace of God or Spirit that comes out to us who are or may be ready to leave the world, the world of matter bound consciousness, behind. I think in this grace we can find our calling by intuitively listening to what it asks of us. I truly think we can find our singular divine purpose here. Which synonymously is our way and path of awakening. I think perhaps God and our soul have a plan for us. 

Hearing this grace is like hearing a chorus of angels with our inner intuitive ear. It doesn't have to be an intense mind altering experience. It can be profound in the force of the truth that comes to us. In the clarity and purity of it's message. A Truth among truths. 

As much as we'd like to make this happen for ourselves, we cannot do it alone. It comes through the angelic bond we consciously form with our own soul and between our soul and the Universe, and within it at its center, God. 

I don't think we enter Heaven without being humbled, because we are not as great as we may think or believe we can be. Not our egos. They are truly nothing. The way upwards only comes through the surrender of these egos, and the Divine support, grace, of what is transcendent and of Perfect Love. The way is His, as much as it is Ours.