Master D Money Maker

 Like that hook? This one's about the $$. Not really. At least I don't think so. Money money money!! Last night I went to bed thinking that I wasn't going to pursue women and I was going to delete bumble. I get up and see that I have two messages and that plans already out the window. Lol. To be fair, I thought that I didn't know for sure what the hell I would do or how my feelings would change. C'est la vie. Yesterday was harder than I thought. Probably sleep again. Got to dance though, that was cool. Harder in shoes. I'll get better though. Didn't have a lot of deep thoughts yesterday. Just tried to make it through the day. Supposed to be 83 on Saturday. Wtf. In April in the Northwest. Cra-cra. Oh well. My anxiety will not stop global warming. And change is just bound to happen in a lot of ways that I may not like. This doesn't mean that we aren't headed towards deeper love. When I notice myself feeling really bad about logging or more houses and more people I remind myself of the total and deeper movement of life. That I don't think it is as bad as it is. It is just the flow of God. I think I got it from Yogananda. It's like reminding yourself to remember your true self. Somehow it is just ok. I think part of why it feels good is because it brings me to a place where I feel this deeper movement on the planet towards that. It's like my life purpose becomes more clear and I feel like all of this change needs to happen and is a part of the process towards unity. Even if we were headed towards a dark age. I wonder if I would need to worry. I don't think that would be bad. It seems like in those hard feelings we lose sight of our true self and what is real. I lose sight of my place. It feels like when I find my vision, I am filled with contentedness and I think things are going well. I think we can rejoice. I think the planet is waking up. I feel that path and I am so happy. Hmm. I still feel like I have so much to learn. I look forward to being more grounded in the master. There I feel like myself. I feel like I already have a plan and I am already ceaselessly working on fulfilling it. When I am not there I feel lost and adrift. The truth is its always here and now. The master doesn't live in the past and the future. At least in the sense that when we are looking back and looking forward and missing the heart in the present. Right here is always where we find ourself. We think we have lost ourself in the past, or anticipate finding ourself in the future, but these will never suffice. We find ourself by turning to ourself in the here and now. This past and future focus is part of what keeps us from being complete. We are turning away from who we are now because we don't like how we are now. We want to be something different, but we will never be something different because all we are is what we are now. As long as we strive for something else and turn away from ourself now we will stay away from who we are. We find ourself by being with ourself right now. When your motivated by fear you will always miss out on life. Always. You will always be turning away from life no matter how good you think your intentions are. You will always be running away. This happens when you strive to possess particulars. We fixate on them at the expense of the whole because we think it is worth it. We don't realize we are undermining our own being, which without we are nothing. Our culture tells us that things must be a certain way for us to be ok. Being ok really means simply to be. We think we cannot be without these things. We strive for these things in ways against our better judgment, against our conscience which is the only standard we can trust. We believe so strongly that we need to possess these particulars and that these particulars are the way to success and survival, yet they will always keep us from sanity and fulfillment if we strive for them in a way that contradicts our conscience. Our conscience is blinded by conditioned culturization. Our conscience, our deepest, truest, and only self is not dependent on particular conditions. It is free and whole. Its sense comes from awareness of the whole because it is the whole. Because of this it is obviously the best judgment we have. It is also what we truly want. The only way we can be satisfied is if we listen to it and are capable of acting on it. Conditioned beliefs are inherently blind to our truest conscience, the whole. They tell us that life must work in this way and that life must not work in that way. They are just false. Not wholly true. Practiced beliefs that are regiment rather than based off of realities. They are based off the realities of the perceived needs of a culture whether or not those needs are real or whether they are actually good for the people within the culture or outside of it. 

Its so easy to follow these conditioned beliefs. Everyone is or we imagine everyone is following them. They must be right, right? Depends on what you mean by right. The true true. Na dog. Na. It gets really fun when you start to get spiritual with it. Really funny and really confusing. It just gets more and more subtle in our minds the more we wake up. But the reality of what is right, is always incredibly simple. Are you turning away from yourself or not? Are you listening to you conscience or not? This conscience I am talking about is actually more than your conscience. It's being able to see from a place of freedom from the interference of conditioned beliefs. Most peoples consciences are racked with all kinds of ideas which render them incapable of seeing who they really are. Nearly everyone is ruled by their conditioned conscience, even very spiritual people. When you are not ruled by it, you are awake. Being awake is the life that is always within all life and is all life, all consciousness yet it is rarely recognized for what it is by humans. We always see it and we cover it with layers and layers of illusory clothing. What is, is incredibly simple, the way most people look at life makes them look like clowns. Masquerading with all this ridiculous gear on.

I want so badly for people to see how simple it is and how far from it we often are. We just look in all the wrong ways because we believe in what we believe in. We don't know how to look for it. We carry all this weight that we don't need. Anyway. I want to write more, but I gotta get going. 

When you turn away from who you are and how you feel, you turn away from a chance to see more clearly what is real. To find what is real, you have to continually face yourself, face how you feel when it is unpleasant. You have to sift through all of your feelings until you find who you are that is not masked by any of them. Your feelings and your thoughts. If you want to be free, you have to get through all of it.