Releasing the ocean

 The light and the darkness are one. We try to hold onto the light.To uphold it at the expense of darkness. The light is the darkness. In seeking to uphold the light, we uphold the darkness. In clinging to the light, we cling to our fears. We cling to what we dislike about ourselves. Turning the true light, to illumination, is accepting deeply and embracing all that is. Embracing everything. Opening up to everything. We do not know ourselves in fear of ourselves. We strengthen our fears by lashing out at them and keeping them at bay. We have fears deeply rooted in our psyche that are rarely if never examined. Things that are taken for granted that we should repress. Much of this content keeps us from being awake in the here and now. This content masks what is going on. We take the mask for reality because it is all we are fed. This is not enough for me. When I do not see clearly I feel like something is wrong. I feel like I can't see and I can't breathe. I don't have any desire to do anything. I feel well when I can see clearly that I am on a path of awakening. Our lives are damned up inside of us. Years and years of walled up feeling and emotion. Energy and power. To be awake is to be free of these walls. To release the ocean and all of its power into our lives and into the world. We are not who we think we are. We are not beings of light. We are beings of light and darkness. We are unmasked power. We are wild. Life is wild. Life is free. So are we. We are not separate or different from it. We are it. It runs where it may. We direct it as we will, as we may. We are currents in the universe. Running along the edge of time, running along the deep. Sowing seeds, twisting and turning. We are raw power. We are often undefined. Undefinable, yet we breath, we walk, we see, there is thought and feeling, vision, insight. We are at the mercy of the sea within us. We cannot possibly hope to save ourselves by containing it. This is illusion. It always contains us. We are in the places we do not wish to be. We are outside the comfort of what call our securities. We have never been damned up, walled up. We think we are, but we are always the sea. The fortress of the ego is an illusion. It's selfdom is a non-reality. We are not it, it is not us. It is only us as it is one of the infinite forms within the universe that we are. Like a cup of tea or a pillow, the ego is an object or a feature within us, animated with it's own unique qualities that make it what it is and not what it is not. It is a fleeting idea that inhabits human consciousness, I am only this, this alone. It is natural to be afraid of ourselves, to be afraid of life. Being so is not unnatural, is not wrong. It is natural for humans to experience fear. Like it is natural for us to do everything that we are doing. It is natural for us to be fearful, foolish, and blind. To make mistakes, to get hurt, to be born, and to die. It is the thought that something is unnatural that makes us feel uneasy. That something is alien and does not belong. When we are caught up in ideas of how the world ought to be we lose sight of how it is and what is real. Humans are weak, are foolish, are incredibly limited in perception and mentation. We may not want to be, but we are. We are incredibly limited. We also have an infinite capacity for change, for growth, for awakening. We are limited in what we can do, yet we are full of immense power, like all living things. I feel like this ordinary organism within a vast sea. I feel mortal, temporary, unsure of myself. This is who I am. It feels good to be alive even though I will not last forever. I am this part within the vast infinite reaches of something unimaginable. Yet I am. I am this organism here. I am this life. I do not need to live forever. I do not want to at this moment. Death is a release from the bondage of being such a limited unique form. I am not meant to live forever. I am not designed to. Nothing is. Everything is temporary, in flux. Everything comes and goes. Here, there, then gone. Like leaves passing you in the river. Clouds racing across the sky. Stars coming in and out of existence. Flowers coming and going in the Spring. These are the parts of the universe. It seems to me that the whole is timeless. It is beyond all of this although it is all of this. These parts are themselves, but not just themselves. I am this organism, this person, yet this person and this organism are also the whole. The entirety. They are and they are not themselves. The are finite and have there existence in space and time, yet they are also the fabric of the eternal. They are also timeless because they are the infinite, they are the whole. We are parts within this illusory dimension of time and space, and we are the infinite eternal, both at the same time. The temporal is a part of the eternal. The two are not separate. For the time being it seems that we have equally real temporal and eternal existences, both of which are inseparable. Although the true nature of live is eternal, we somehow remain in a temporal universe. We somehow exist here although we are truly, and everything is truly, eternal. I don't know why or exactly how, but it seems to be the case. Even though I know all of this is illusory, it is still here. I am still here. Lol. It's kind of nice. At least for now.