The Point IV

(continued from The Point III)

We are free right now to create in Love and Goodness. Underneath everything, I think we already do. And this is the point of life...

     Regardless of the coming of a new age, we are here now.  Right now, this is important, regardless of what it is. This is it. This is what we are looking for. Right now. Right here. This...
We spend our lives searching for something, or many things to fulfill us. We often feel that what we have or what we get falls short of the mark. We think that what we have lacks some elusive quality. Without it, we continue the search whether we consciously know this or not. I think part of us runs down this bone like a raving beast, with an insatiable hunger. It seems like we cannot help ourselves, we are mad. In a way, the remedy lies in the process itself.
     This process is the process of choosing thing after thing to fill the void that is our inability to fully consciously face the reality of our lives. We slowly allow ourselves to see a little bit more of ourselves every moment of of our lives. This too we cannot help. The process of being alive is the process of lifting the veil obscuring reality and the truth we can perceive, but cannot wholeheartedly admit to ourselves. This is how the search itself is the remedy or the solution. It is one with the process of "enlightenment" of the mind. A dual dance of denial and gradual acceptance with more and more accurate choices to fill the void. They are more and more accurate because they are closer and closer being the truth of who and what we are. See Ken Wilber's works for this. I think he calls this process the Atman Project. I was just reading Alan Watts and he too describes this process as an eternal game of hide and seek where the hider and the seeker are the same person or entity.
     This is why this process of searching for things to fill an unfillable void is itself the fulfillment of that unfillable void. The search itself is enlightenment. We are the God we are looking for. Your True Self with a capital S is your very self right now, blind beaten and battered. Your search for it is it. I find this pretty dang funny. It's so ironic, sort of turns life into a comedy. We try so hard to find something to hold onto...and the answer is right here. Right in front of your eyes. It's always been this, here and now. It's always been who you are right now, what you've been doing right now, where you are right now. No escape, no other place. This...Now...
 You've always been boundlessly connected to the Universe. Something totally beyond your individual control, yet totally you. We have always been One with nature, One with all humanity. We've always just been Wakefullness here and now. The undulating of the tides, the blowing of the wind through the trees. We are nothing more than this. This is all that we are, all that we ever have been.
     Why are we asleep then in our humanity? We just are. This is just how life is. We blossom like buds on a tree. For a time we cannot see through our thick skin. Then, a crack of light and an unfurling of leaves and petals into the sunshine, the crisp air, the breath of life. And we can see that we are. We breath in life and exhale life. We grow, we rise and they we decay and fall. We pass away and die, never to be again. This is life. This is our life. This is who we are. Birth, breath, life, death. Perhaps something else. Perhaps not. We are the breath of life. We are being right now Being Being Being. It seems like forever being. In the here and now.
     To be lost is such a natural part of life. It is life. While we are lost we are so afraid. So afraid of death. Our imagination turns into into so many strange forms. When you can see them clearly, they don't seem to fit into the natural mold of the world. You can tell that they are imaginary, you can tell that people are fearfully clutching at them in their hearts and minds. Avoiding looking at their life as it is. They are too afraid of it. Too terrified.
     And much of society is this way. Too terrified to face reality, the consequences of this are upsetting. We don't trust eachother. Who would trust such crazy disconnected people? Crazy disconnected animals? Their are real consequences for messing up. Getting lost deeper in confusion and not getting the social and emotional support you need. We are so self-conscious, so afraid of missteps. So afraid that we freeze the flow of life, and society as a whole stagnates. I think this is clearly a prominent feature in the United States. We are so afraid of doing anything wrong that we don't do hardly anything at all. We just choke on ourselves over and over again. Glancing around fearfully, putting on pretenses. Growing increasingly anxious and disassociated from ourselves. Becoming more and more isolated. I think this is the reality for many of us, and more so the reality for parts of us in all of our lives. Who can you turn to when you've already retreated deep within your own cave?
     Their are hot points everywhere. Hot points of critical thought and feeling. Pockets of severe view. Where is the wisdom that can bring these views together? Where is the social discourse and culture to listen to each other and compromise for solution? Where is the community? Obviously it is here, but not enough to make our country feel very safe as a whole. Not enough to make most communities feel like a cohesive fabric. We feel splintered and reduced from something that we once were. This is probably more true for my demographic of being a middle class white person in the United States. But still is very true for the country as a whole.
     I find and have found that the best thing I can do is to do nothing. So much of what I have in me is apart of this bureaucratic nonsense, this excessiveness when it comes to doing anything. Thinking, feeling, doing, and being. All clouded by way too much anxious thought, too much dreaming, not enough being or feeling. Not enough sense. The best thing I can do is quiet my mind, quiet my body from the compulsive anxious cloud strongly represented by commercial America, get in touch with my feelings, from my feelings to my body, from my body to my being and from my being to action. Then I come from a place of spontaneous intuitiveness, where I am more or less in harmony with myself. This process has created so much wisdom in my life. Just tuning out of the gray noise of the world and tuning into myself. My own thoughts, my own feelings, my own body, my own being. It's been what I will call around 10 years of doing this, 8 years doing this at an intensity and flow beyond what most can imagine. Not out of discipline, but of a spontaneous and unpredicted awakening of my consciousness.
     In this country, and growing in the world, is the culture of massive aggressiveness, do more do more, be the best, be a beast. Fall asleep. Lose yourself in the world of ideas. Ideas disconnected from being, from sense. We try to apply this to the enfolding of our inner space. To the awakening of our consciousness. It will never work. We can only successfully apply ourselves with great discipline and intensity if their is harmony in our being.  And this inner flow is more like that of a forest stream than a stream which needs to be commanded ruled and controlled. It flows by itself, without need of thought or action. It simply flows. And this is enough. This is all it really is. Flow.
     This is life. Behind our intentions, prayers, struggles, concerns. Flow. Water flowing downstream. To the sea. To the sea. To the sea. This is life. When we quiet our mind and get in touch with our feelings, we can learn to see this. We don't need so much. We can just be here and now. We have faith in this process because we are this process. We can let go of excess. Excess in the mind, in thought and in action. Acquire less, do less, be less, be more. Be here. Now. This is it.