Obtaining wealth...and...

 Wealth is a relative notion that stems from an aspect of the transcendent infinite which is now. We individually think of wealth in a variety of ways, but it all stems from the abundance that is and flows from the infinite. To obtain wealth we have to tune into the infinite. If we enlarge our perspective of wealth this becomes much easier, because we begin to see that abundance is already all around us, and therefore we have much more to draw from to use to pursue our goals. The obsessive fixation on material wealth or money is seeing wealth in a very limited way, a very restrictive way. Seeing wealth as the spiritual state of things allows everything to flow much more naturally. We can obtain a great deal of material wealth through selfish pursuits, but this will not bring us deep peace which comes from an inner wealth that effortlessly spills out onto the material plane in our lives. We will remain unsatisfied and truly upset underneath the temporary pleasures we may be free to indulge in. Selfishly pursuing wealth will not free us from suffering, which is born from attachment. By restraining our selfish tendencies and fixing our eye on God, we can pursue wealth in a wholesome way. We can then use many different techniques to improve the conditions of our lives, which is another way of saying acquiring wealth. When we recognize that wealth is truly energetic and additionally that individual wealth depends upon the inner fountain of selfless transcendent being we can set ourselves up to truly succeed in life. But if we ignore God, and our deeper higher calling, and exploit this knowledge for selfish gain, we will not succeed. We will cast ourselves into darkness. We must obtain wealth to use it for good pursuits. We must employ it effectively and not hoard or abuse it. 

We do have the power to create anything we wish. And there are many techniques to employ to do so. We have unique abilities and a unique position, and unique appreciations that  make different techniques or pathways suitable to us on an individual basis. God helps us see our unique and designated way to move forward along the path to deeper liberation. God will help us stay on that path and use our skills and talents to the fullest of our abilities. When we have the courage to bear the torch of Light and the wisdom to follow the wisdom of God, we can unlock vast depths of uncharted treasures. Following God is not a limitation or a retraction of our being, it is an expansion. It is putting out a wooden torch and having the stone walls of a dark cave dissolve into a sea of blinding light. God will not lead us astray, it is us who lead ourselves astray. We can tune into a world where we live in constant fear of what lies outside of us, where it is an enemy, or we can tune into a world in which we are lifted up by a perfect loving intelligence that we can trust. In the later, it is our distrust and our subsequent selfishness that keeps us in a world of fear and suffering. A world in which turning to God liberates us from this nightmare to a real world of peace and prosperity. 

Abundance truly is the inner kingdom of heaven that abides within and is the Reality behind this illusory world of limitations. It is recognition of this inner kingdom that brings about its realization in the physical on Earth. By tuning into the infinite and maturing so that we can follow God, we can move through the constructs of our confinement in the experience of limited being, gaining elevation and release into more satisfying dimensions of our being. We can draw on an infinite reservoir of power to liberate ourselves. We cannot bypass God along the way. Being religious in a sense is a fundamental level of maturity that transcends selfish and sensory pleasure driven behavior. It does not have to be any religion, but a religion inwardly that is a real development of our relationship with God the Creator. Which outwardly takes on forms of temperance, civility and civil society, much of traditional family structures/marriage. The particulars of these forms do not need to be fixed, yet the essence of them is what is necessary for maturity. The essence is developing a relationship with God through faith, and participating in society in a civil way that is informed by existing traditions and practices, which may be as simple as how being nice is generally expressed in the community or communities are apart of. Friendship, commitment in relationships, really just general participation in society. I don't think people realize that God is at the center of organized society. Society and civilization are basically the evolution of social trust, which is the belief that together we are stronger than we are alone. The belief in the legitimacy of this basic bond is essentially is faith in a social pact, or social order. Faith of any kind is religious, and God is the center of religion. Whether or not you can see God at the heart of it, God is there, the epitome of faith and a word that literally directly points to faith in it's meaning. This is what God is. Faith, logic, order. The creator father God at least of the Old Testament. Faith is real, it is a real aspect of the universe we live in. It is a power that transcends the physical universe. It is that which connects and orders things. In our limited human experience, faith and God are as real as the stones we may walk on. They just don't exist in the same way, hence faith. It is faith in a higher order of things. An order that transcends the nature of the organic universe we rose up from. It is mental and visible within our minds, not visible as a concrete physical object. We just have a hard time in acknowledging the reality of much that is trans-physical. It obviously is there or else we would'n't have minds. We wouldn't be able to think. The thinking of minds is of a higher order than animal impulse. This is why the logic of faith and the order of civil society temper the selfish impulse of the human organism. Sadly this temperance has been greatly brushed aside by many notions of things which are not as noble as we claim or wish them to be, and society has adopted these new principles as more highly evolved expressions of order, when they are really immature degenerations. This confusion is confusing and creates much of the skewed world that we live in. Traditional forms are often limited in scope, while they possess an integrity that surpasses much that has come to replace it. The structures of traditional society are often very oppressive, especially to minority groups, or outside elements, while the heart is more good that much of the self serving narcissism and hedonism that has become our idol. I find it difficult to distinguish between what is traditional that is civil society and what is traditional that is extremely narrow thinking. I think as a society, we have deepened the depths which we can reach, while we often have fallen in the way we individually and socially are mature. We have access to greater depths, but we have destroyed much of the step stool we were using to reach them. The step stool is civil society, logic, order, and faith. It is willing participation in society for the sake of society. 

It seems to me that all of this new information and the ways it has been released have jeopardized the fundamental structures of our society and our faith in them. I think this is a very complicated phenomena with many different driving forces. With the increase of depth in consciousness, comes the need to balance the new drives with the old. The new territory, unexplored demands a great deal of attention so that it can be integrated appropriately into human consciousness. New drives have different directions and different value systems. New drives also expose new ways of doing things that can be exploited by lesser drives hence the terror of corporations.....  

Musings

 I continue to change a lot. It feels like I am getting a better feel for what I am doing. It feels good. There appears to be a great quantity to process, which can be daunting, but, this process seems to be governed by forces that can be known and depended upon. It seems that the more clearly I perceive this, the steadier my hand will be. The more certainty I will have about the consequences of my actions, and the results of my efforts. Certainty that what I am doing will bring about what I think it will. It appears that manipulation of elements for selfish gain creates a blindness which inherently upsets the efforts made to reach particular goals. It makes the fulfillment of the goals unavoidably uncertain, which renders this approach unfitting if one wishes to have security in their endeavors. If one wishes to be able to depend upon their efforts. Otherwise, it is always a gamble, which eventually will end in ruin. They whom are ruled by their ego continue in their pursuit of power and mastery because they fail to see this and believe they can outwit the universe, they by their time until they are powerful enough to challenge the powers that be, they may succeed for a time, yet their sole trust in themselves will be their undoing, because in doing so they fail to see the greater order at work. They are blinded by their own power and wit. They fail to recognize that their personal power is a subset of a greater order to which all of this power and personal intelligence belongs and is governed by. This selfishness itself is the act of turning away from this greater order, which is it's ignorance, and it's doom. It is belief in the wisdom of turning to one's own cleverness and spurning the order and will of the greater world. It is drunk in the pursuit of personal power. It is yet ignorant of much that lies outside and beyond it. 

Moving beyond, one turns from this draught to the light of the existent order of things, and the light flows through the mind and the body as it hasn't before. Here, it seems, that intelligence takes precedence over want. Want is subject to the way things work. It is seen that this order cannot be bypassed by desire. It is something to navigate, not to dominate, this is impossible and undesirable because the light of the order is far more tolerable than the dark prison of selfish desire. This selfishness can only beat off suffering at best, while the light of order allows one to rise out of it with increasing certainty. Certainty that comes with knowledge and trust. Here one learns to transform selfish desire into consciousness. And with consciousness comes skillfullness. With intelligence it seems that you can do anything. There is no end to what the mind can achieve with intelligence. The aim isn't to eliminate the base, but to grow out from it. To carry it further than ever before. 

Operation Get Votes

 Operation steer to the colony, entering the hive. Sending out bee-vibrations, ticking out the codes, antenna deployed. Gather the honey like Sunday money. Steer the beer to the thirsty throng. Make amends for all the wrongs. Turn it on like Donkey Kong. Nuff said, tough stuff, for reels. Reels for days. Not only green light go, green light stay bright, with steadfast daylight. Tough work, make jerky work. Roughneck leather head, steadfast daybed, soft light, standstream, mellow gold, make believe, strataverse the underwear, daffodil and teddy bear, tall up, sundown, shoe box, motown, great seed for grape king, make me, my meddly, mopey no show me only, make the mad knee care for unkee-doo, he be best knot for top sun dog. Turn sideways for golf feed, next to me you say CHEESE! Smelly smiley rectified, cast betwen two mountain sides, Randy James get liquified, some good pears got sunshine, The stratoverse opens before a hearse, dark doors to Earth birth, condensed and turned, upheaved and burned, toasted sweet, carmel coffee treat, Halloween Happy Days, sugar pains, mind bleed, star feed, make believe, stolen cheese, playing in these colors, swirling on the wall, coming up to Sundown, where I know it all. Day past, stray cage, one stand, night play, curly cue, marrow bay, call the people, set it straight, sacrifice, bite by bite, make tomorrow, live today, work the work, spinning the light, spinning the light, spinning the light..

Creative power of now

 We can use the will to create anything we wish, for ill or good. It is a creative power that we direct with our thought and attention. From within us, it is ceaselessly participating in the creation of the universe, creating that which is in accord with our energy signature. Much of what we will, we are not conscious of, the key to controlling and guided what we create is to pay attention to how our inner individual universe is related to the exterior worldy universe. By understanding the subtle relationship between the two, we can alter inner currents to manifest outward changes. The two are ultimately One and eventually it is seen that inner feeling is equal to exterior reality. Still from here, we experience this shaping of reality as an interior feeling/creating, except that here, there is no barrier between creator and created. This I believe is the highest form of creation and of existence. By understanding mind and feeling we can shape the world consciously with our will. We can be fully conscious of what we create and have full control over the outcome of our creations/endeavors. The power to create is always here and it is always infinite. Lack is imaginary, it is one way in which infinity expresses itself. Everything in our mind is an expression of infinity that we experience as human beings in a multitude of ways. We often forget that we are One with the creative process as we fall into the belief of negative thoughts and feelings. We forget that all of this is coming out of us right now. That we have total control if we choose to have it over what is going on. It is all in the mind. I think it is very true that what we experience is a choice, even if we are unaware of it, or feel powerless to change what is happening. I think deep within we choose to see what we want and to ignore what we want. I think when we are very mindful of how the creation of the universe comes from within, we may feel highly motivated to be more conscious of how we lead our lives. Forgetting this is like slipping into a watery dream. We have the power to shape our lives right now, and for many more often than not, we are not living the life that we wish to be living. We feel the choice is out of our control. I think it is most intimately within our control. A kind of intimacy unfortunately very alien to us, even though is is more us than we are now. We shy away from this power because we are comfortable in our relative darkness, but we will never be happy here. We will never be happy postponing living fully in this moment. There is no life but what is happening right now. I think it really is all or nothing. It is really amazing to think that our fullest life is right here, not anywhere else. We don't have to do anything to get it. The funny thing is that it already is here, it is the only things that is. 

The way

 I think I know now that forcing it is not good, that it won't work. I have to find something that is light and that works. Bending to my own will is not the way. I think it is hard for me to accept this and to adapt. Especially when I see that I have the power to do what I want with it. It is hard for me to stay open. While it doesn't seem that there is any other way that works. I think the universe may be more open to my disposition that I think. The thing is, I get an idea that I like, and then I seize upon it much to tightly and become lost. This is not the direction I want to go. I get upset because I think I can't have what I want or like, that I have to give it all up, when I really think what I am giving up is attachment to it, giving up that attitude and way of being. This I think may be most important. And perhaps has been the most difficult for me to maintain. I have succumbed easily to temptation in the past, and I distrust Christ and this wisdom. Turning to darkness instead for personal gain. I don't think there is really any other way that works, and I think the way of light is almost definitely the most fulfilling way. We distrust it in our ignorance. In our fear of losing out. There is a way in Christ, perhaps many ways. Stay light, stay open, and a path will come to you. Non-attachment. It seems like the mind may have to grow stronger so that it can focus more readily. It seems like now when I try to use it, it almost instant breaks down into egoic striving and is useless. In a sense building up the power of non-attachment. Otherwise any effort seems futile. This seems to be the way. Not anything else, as much as I may want it. It almost sounds nice because it frees me from the pains of desire and attachment. Of having to be a certain way. Desire and attachment seem like wisdom, but they are not. The body does not want to accept this. It wants what it wants right now. It is really easy for me to get caught up in what I want, and lose sight of this. To get caught up in desire. That personal power is a distraction. It is lust for desire. Lust for power. Really losing sight of what is real. Losing sight of the way. I am not sure I know what a balance looks like. Between the two. Because it seems like I can only do so much of one right now. It feels like I am stuck between the two. And I want to go more towards one, but I don't think I will be giving up the other. At least altogether. I don't think I need to. I don't think that is my destiny. I think I just need to do enough, to strike the right balance between the two and this will move me in the right direction. I don't know what that is yet, I think I may be getting closer to figuring it out. I am eager to do so. Eager and impatient. Tired of being stuck where I am. But, I can't get going until I am pointed in the right direction, otherwise I will get stuck again. It seems like it is intelligence, intellect that is growing that is making it easier to figure this out, that is clearing the way and increasing the processing ability and operation. Intellect helps me be wiser by navigating the terrain more effectively. I feel I still have a great deal to learn. That a great deal remains holding me up. It is complicated beyond my ability to deal with in a way that I can be as successful as I would like to be. I can learn very quickly, as I believe I am, and it still doesn't feel like enough. I don't think there is anything else I can do...Because non-attachment is a complicated thing, with many dimensions and degrees of operation. Many inter-dependent factors. Many things upon which wisdom is founded. I think I have a lot of room to become more intelligent. I think I have a lot of viewpoints that are incorrect and because of this are troublesome. I fear I am much more of a fool even then I realize. I am afraid of the trouble that will be cause by my remaining deep attachment to things. I hope that I will be able to walk a way of relatively calm waters soon. It really does seem to depend a great deal on how I use my intellect to improve my intellect through self-examination and scholarly study. I am afraid of how easy it is for my mind to be clouded by desire. I am afraid that I will not find a satisfactory way through this cloudedness. I am afraid that I won't want to. I am afraid there is no middle way. I don't want to be a Saint now. I also don't want to be a devil. I would like a clean path to travel from one to the other. From where I am to Saintliness. I really just want to be human, to be a normal human being. 

I think I have a lot of attitudes that need adjustment. So that I can tighten down the hatch and make this boat sea worthy. Running towards other solutions out of mad passion and fear is not going to work, it does not make sense. It makes more sense to be able to manage well what I have now, and then start looking for other, better options, if what I have is something I can manage well. Which I think it is, and I think that I can. If a better way starts opening up and I can pursue this wisely in tandem or in addition to what I have without become personally unsteady, then it makes sense to allow it to blossom. It seems like, almost certainly, that the way forward, a real healthy way forward, involves the tempering of this mad despair and fitful emotion and the emergence of a well developed reasoning. A tempered intelligence that is in control of this being, who can keep emotions and feelings in check, remaining level headed, grounded in practical sense that only comes from tried and tempered perspectives and attitudes. One that is skilled enough to successfully navigate the many dimensions of this world.

There is a lot that can go badly, yet there is also a lot that can go well. A lot of good that may be coming, that seems to be coming to meet me now. I am afraid, but there is a lot I can do that is good, that can strengthen my position. If I am wise enough and fortunate enough to see it. I will get upset again and the best thing I can do is to remember where and who I am. My aim now seems to be cultivating skillful action through developing my intellect and managing my desire. The development of general intelligence seems to be a direct result of properly restraining one's desires and emotions: The skillful mastery of desire and emotion produces more intelligent perspectives.  

Musings...

 Mountain of magic. This white back ground is killing me.  I am not sure if I can change it. Oh well. I wish I could write with the background of the actual blog. This is so plain and uninspiring. Ok, this is better now. I minimized the page and changed my desktop background. Still not the best, but better. Ocean good!! Strange week! Strange and interesting. Heavy programs churning mind like butter. Consciousness is a strange thing. What is the difference between despair and joy? Or between powerlessness and power? Why do some stand so long in powerlessness and others in power? What is the difference? True power. At the moment it appears that I don't understand this and what is happening to me. It has been very confusing. It has been so easy to fall into pits of the mind, and perhaps to fall out of them. With no apparent rhythm or design I am able to recognize. Just falling in and out, repetitiously. I don't understand why this is happening, or what it is. It seems like holding onto perceived patterns too tightly keeps me in this cycle of unsteady consciousness. It keeps me falling into unconsciousness. At this moment, I find anything that keeps me in this cycle undesirable. I don't think I have been able to see clearly enough to keep myself from regularly falling into pits of darkness. I don't think I have been able to do anything about it, but simply pass through it..It feels like my actions have continually put myself back into darkness, trapping me in a cycle of darkness. There hasn't been enough light within my being to lift myself out of this. -The next morning... I don't think I need to understand why this is happening, it just is. I don't think I need to understand anything about this, I'm not sure if in a way I ever will. Darkness makes you want to seize what you can not grab, for there is nothing there to grab, nothing to hold onto, the river merely passes by. A vision of us seizing in the darkness, is likewise a vision, without anyone seizing at all. The mirror is empty. Light born in darkness, darkness born in light. Light among Light. Sweetest of all wines. I think the heartless end of seizing is the birth of something real. For which real is seen among real, as real is all there is. The end of one road is the beginning of another. Seeing this, it is seen that this new beginning never begin at all, for it never ended. What was not sight was seeing all along. The sight has always been, pulling away at the soul. Breathing breath into the body of the world. A world without itself, merely a great Spirit and a great body. A living moment that is Soul. That which has always been. Singing sadness into a song of the most moving passion, to the greatest delight of all living beings, known or unknown to them. Singing beneath the shade of willow trees in the late Summer afternoon, while a long day's heat presses the mind to unrest. Unknown is the sweet singing. The sweet singing behind all the woes of the world. The singing is the water itself lapping against the dock in the stormy night. The water and the night which carry the deep cold and stillness of the Earth. There I found my Soul. I knew myself wonder mixed with unnameable bliss. There is no other moment than this one in the passing light of the Earth. The Earth moves me with such a stirring passion, it's long history of great feeling all contained and pressing out in this moment. A moment that in it's entirety is my life and feeling. The deep pressing mystery of my being, Light carrying me ever outwards and ever inwards. Singing a song that is the world. But here, I never want to leave. It is most precious. God has given it to me, above all else, as my own. It is my life, my most precious life. A life beyond life. Most precious Lord. Ceaseless savior of living beings. The highest lord above present in lake waters lapping against the dock in the night. Living light, bastion of the world. Many lords, living among men, toiling in the world, thinking of naught but themselves, will quickly come into their own and rule, outstanding most, with minds as high and sharp as jagged mountain peaks, Hearts that contain horizons, The great equalizers of our time, sensitive the pressing call of the Earth as it speaks in the mold and the body of each Man. A great many people of this light. Healers of life and land. Many lords and ladies in many countries, returning the law to the land. Healing the Earth with Wisdom and Divine Love. Spreading Love through Love. Wisdom through Wisdom. Light through Light. What great destiny awaits us. What praise and joy. What power we have to heal and to become whole. The land desires to sing and the people desire to sing with the land. In such a singing that is altogether wholesome and good. Such a light that shines through all changes, guiding, grounding, and upholding. A sturdiness that life can be built upon, that goodness can depend upon, a sturdiness to uphold the world and each one of us in it. Such a light is already here. It is within each of us and composes the very fabric of our being. It takes seeing it for the world to be full of it, the world that we know. It takes seeing it for it to come to others and for it to spread within humanity. The thing is, the light is already here, it is already shared amongst us, seeing it, we do not recognize it as it is. For we are not without, we are fulfilled, by the grace of God, forever and ever. This is fulfilledness. Such is the power and majesty of God. To create such a thing as this, it is beyond praise. His glory and power. Light among lights within light. Everything thing we have is a gift. Amen. Light amongst lights, everything given for the uplifting of everything else, hidden in plain sight, the greatest gift of all is free will. We are free to live our lives however we wish. Perhaps life itself and free will. Which go hand in hand. God's infinite mind, infinite being, and infinite nature are the most precious things in the universe. God's mind and His life are the life of all life, the source of all things. 

Life is empty of all things save His intelligence, which is supreme and unfathomable. This life alone is His mind, His being. This is God. Infinite being. Which is what Emptiness is, Supreme Being. Nothing else exists but this unfathomable emptiness. It simply is, I know it as Light and rejoice. We cannot be without the greatness of God. We cannot be without the Light of His being. It is his nature. He is supreme, and we are supreme in Him. His life is One end eternal. He is One and all. All things are One in Him. Supreme Lord of Being. Father. The Lord God, your land is blessed Father, you alone, Supreme One. We are supremely blessed in you, this supremely blessed kingdom. Of the highest peace and nature. Such are your ceaseless gifts to us. Turning to you, I regain myself. Endless, boundless you are, we dwell in a supremely blessed kingdom. We dwell in a supremely blessed kingdom, this is a supremely blessed kingdom. Blessed by your light and power, we awaken to your nature. Which is Supreme. You are the Supreme One. Your being stands alone, stretching far and wide, forever, endlessly stretching. You are the One, Supreme Lord. Your power and your nature. The Father has arrived. This is his infinite being. The bosom of his love. Supreme and endless bliss. Bliss upon bliss, forever, stretching forever. His nature, our nature, infinite supreme, undying bliss. This is Light, Being. He is here and I am One. I am Light, Being, Bliss, Infinite Bliss. This is Light, infinite being, and Bliss. Bliss eternal. Bliss, undying, unending bliss. Here I am, amongst all of this, as this, I AM. I AM. HERE I AM. 

Ahem

 Regardless of my present shortcomings, it seems that I have gained an incredible degree of intelligence over the past couple years. An intelligence still burgeoning. I feel brighter than before. I feel much smarter, even though by appearance much looks the same. I don't think it is. I think a lot is the same, but more is different. I feel different, I think, deeper within myself. I think happened and continues to happen as the surface forms continue to exist much as they have for the las ten years. I think I feel wiser, and perhaps, ready for more. Ready to continue, however this may play out. I have found it very difficult to judge how things are going because of the great disturbances I experience regularly and because of the depth and subtlety of the development I believe occurs within me. It often lies beyond my ability to consciously perceive. I trust in feelings rather than a steady conscious knowing because my movements often take me into deep pools of darkness. Additionally we are trained to see strength in such a superficial way which leads us to devalue the kinds of strength that matter the most. Thus, we devalue our own actions and quality of being. A society that highly values wisdom would not have this problem nearly as much. My self-esteem has suffered greatly due to my inability to succeed in ways that I have been taught to value and that I perceive that society values. When in truth, my efforts are worth far more esteem than most individuals merit, and my achievements are on a scale that most cannot fathom. While society cannot readily perceive what I have been doing, I can better value it and this will enrich my life. All of this being said, I have done much that I am not proud of, and have in several ways fallen from grace. For this, I believe I deserve the shame that I feel, and I feel it is healthy to feel this shame, so I can learn from my mistakes. I am not perfect and can improve in many ways. I think it is important to aim for such improvement. It is important also for me to mature where it is most needed, where I feel that I am most immature, and to continue to strive for a healthy balance. I should be forever mindful of becoming too proud and conceited, for which I will feel justified in behaving unethically. I have had to sacrifice much more than I would like to sustain the growth of my being, much I believe has not been avoidable. I feel that my immaturity is a result of the immaturity of the society I was raised in, in combination with some of my inherent character flaws largely not the cause of anything society did to me. As smart as I am, I am not yet smart enough to avoid major catastrophe's or to put myself on a path straight and narrow. I feel between the open arms of God and many pointed blades of death. But, things may not be as they seem, as I have said. I think perhaps for better than for worse.