The Circle Dance

Does time pass in a straight line? If the past influences the present, does the present also influence the past? If the present influences the future, does the future also influence the present, or even the past? 

Does what we do know simply move in straight lines as it effects the universe? Does the force of our action bend and curve and spin throughout time? Does it blend with what already exists? Does what exists in the past remain alive, as alive as what exist in the present or even the future? Do we simply live in this moment in time? Is fate one-directional or is it a clockwork matrix? 

If we could see with eyes far more open, would we walk in many places at once? Would we be many people at once? With many designs, many purposes, and many destinations. Is then what we accomplish now much more substantial than we realize? Are we not the product of wings fluttering in distant landscapes, avalanches on high mountain peaks, tragedies and celebrations from other lives? Where do you stand now? Where lies the other end of the string that pulls on your heart, on your will? What do you ingest when you breath this fresh air? What pulls you to be as you are now?

Distant fields and distant landscapes live in your bared soul. You breath deep from times long gone and times yet to be. All alive in the mystery of this moment...

Excerpt from book #2 Our feelings point to God

      In our feelings lies the big picture. Something I often find hard to describe. To put it simply, in our feelings lies life as it is, and the perception of it this way. To perceive things as they are, we must fine tune our judgement. We must ascertain the validity of the content of our minds so as to purify our means of perceiving:

Though hypocrate, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye;

and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. 

    King James 7:5

     As Jesus says, we are to remove the beam from our eye so that we can see what truly needs to be done to help others. The beam in this case is the light of  our perception, or the light of our consciousness. This light is polluted by ungrounded assumptions and thereby rendered an ineffective tool for the purpose of assessing the needs of others. Their needs being the shaping up of their own perceptions which are clouded by motes, or ungrounded assumptions. To help others, or even ourselves, we need to see clearly, and this is done by casting out the  body of our polluted consciousness which is the sum total of our ungrounded beliefs. Our feelings are our guides to discerning which is true and which is false. They are the cleansing force that leads us from the darkness of our ignorance into the Light which is truth. 

For nearly everyone it seems apparent that we don’t come pre-packaged with a stellar truth sense. We have to develop our feelings as to better and better perceive truth. This takes time, it takes faith. It nearly always takes hard work and sacrifice. Your feelings are your conscience. They lead you to all kinds of experiences. It’s their job. It’s your job to figure out what they mean. Some of you may not be very in tune with how you feel. Some of you are probably out of tune a lot more than others. No need to worry. However you are, you have the capacity to become more familiar with your own feelings. As you do, they will naturally deepen. This widens your perspectives and your perspective-taking ability. The more familiar you are with your feelings, the easier it is to understand them. If you understand them well, then you can avoid unpleasant situations. You will deceive yourself less and you will have a greater likelihood of succeeding in your ambitions because of it. For you will have a good understanding of what you want and what you’re capable of. You’ll waste less time doubting yourself, getting distracted and you’ll have the motivation to follow through. These are some of the pretty sweet consequences of self-knowledge. 

This works out because your feelings indicate your preferences. They also tell you if you can trust a situation or environment. But, they are often misleading because they are underdeveloped and you can’t or don’t want to depend on them as much as you may like. This is because of what I have already mentioned. Our perceptions are distorted by our false assumptions. If we are full of assumptions, we don’t know how the world really is, we don’t know who we really are and we probably think that both are something that they are not. So when we take these perceptions and use them to perceive our feelings, what we feel is also unavoidably distorted and untrustworthy. But at this point, we probably won’t be able to tell and will regularly run into trouble. This is ok though. This is just apart of being human. We are ignorant and because of this we suffer, we have problems. We don’t need to be saints, most of us are unable to be saints in the here and now. In other words, we don’t need to worry about being perfect, but we will probably be happy to figure out how to make our own lives a little brighter.

Excerpt from book #1 What if...

 

Imagine a universe in which everything is love. Imagine what this feels like. Imagine if everything around begged for Unity in an ecstatic outpour. If everything you saw was warm and burgeoning with light. With the will to be and the will to be more. What if everything was dancing before your eyes, yet didn’t seem to be moving at all.  Except in the way life normally moves. What if your mind was always expanding growing and deepening in subtle marvelous ways. What if you could feel and see this change happening in the minutest detail, and you could direct it all towards your heart’s desires. Towards goodwill, towards enlightenment. What if you couldn’t stop it from happening? What if everything in the world and in the universe supported this movement?

What if you could feel really good about yourself? What if you gave yourself permission to be completely in love with yourself? To let go of fear, anger, hate, worry, your troubles? What if you could just let go of all of the heaviness of your life? Everything weighing you down? What if you could just step away? And see life clearly. See things as they are. What if you just were. Just were, right here, right now. Nothing to it. Just this. Just this book right here in front of your face. Your body, your thoughts and feelings, your environment. Just this. And what if this was really ok? So much so that it didn’t bother you? You are just ok being here

We are not what we think about ourselves

     Our judgments are not real. They are shallow and full of delusion. When we judge ourselves and others, we are at best making vague estimations. What is real is this. Here and Now. We are not who we think we are. We are not who we imagine ourselves to be. We are not what we are caught up in and we never will be. 

Wyrd

     The dancing wyrd that is karma. The unraveling knots of our lives. The unraveling destinies of form. The ever-shifting state of the kosmos. The mechanics of the universe. Wyrd. The ungraspable everflowing river that creates the world. That reveals through stillness. That makes known in time what is hidden in the present. That snakes and steals and feeds. That gives and takes. That is our heart and is the heart of the world. Wyrd. The dancing lace that cuts shapes into life. That defines and redefines. That gives tasks and ends lives. The creates new beginnings bringing the dawn into our lives again and again. Enlightening and extinguishing. Wyrd. Cold and rich. Dark and deep. Black as night, crisp as Fall leaves. Clear as cold creek currents through stone. Muddled, stagnant, sharp, twisted. Plain, visceral. Bloody, contained. Compelling perhaps above all else perhaps as the current of a river is. 

    At the heart of Wyrd is mastery and knowledge. Wyrd is dao..with a different flavor from the Northwest. Refreshing to me, as it seems to flow in my blood and my racial thought perhaps being familiar in a way that spirituality from the East does not provide. It stirs my blood and strikes my mind like the liquid lightening flowing from northwestern European rivers and landscapes which I feel are similar to the Northwest of the North American continent in many ways. Verdant forests, hills, mountains, cold waters of lake, river and sea. Rough landscapes. Similar animal and plant life. 

    Now it fills my life with a cold and Earthy delight and comfort that I did not foresee I would experience so intimately. It seems to have claimed my wyrd in giving me the name Merlin. My fascination with Celtic symbols is intoxicating in a controlled, soothing, and invigorating way. I have been drinking the Celtic spirit often as a river falls into a seemingly bottomless chasm in the Earth. It is curved, spiraled, rich, soft, yet wildly cold, harsh, and sharp. I surprisingly hunger for it's burn, for the way it lights my soul will with it's unique passionate wildfire. It seems to whip part of myself into shape, to match it's sacred designs with my will and vision. It is a heart that I did not expect to have. It feels right in a way that I have not experienced before. For I am drawn to many mystical traditions, yet I have not felt any call me as strongly as the Celtic spirit has. The spirit of those who carried the deep magic in that region of the world. 

    I am singularly drawn now to the way of the sorcerer, the dweommer. I have always felt this as one of the many more intimate paths within my soul and I am incredibly pleased that its root will completely dominate this phase of my life. It completes me in such a way that their is no room for doubt or another seed to grow. I am Merlin. I am a sorcerer of light, dark, and mystery. This is my wyrd.

Change and the Seasons of Life

 The wind blows through the leafless trees. It scatters the driest of Fall leaves that don't seem to rest when they hit the ground. They are locked in their transmutation. They are sustained by their living death. They are firmly seated in their journey to new life as the memory of the tree from which they came passes on. I am these blowing leaves, crisp and without much substance left. Like an old weathering tombstone tilted in uncut grass. I am a memory, yet I no longer am who I once was. I have passed beyond. "Here lies Alec Scheibe, a dream of a dream of a dream" Merlin flies free and rests on a leafless branch of a nearby tree and gazes off enjoying the crisp air and the warmth of a Winter sun in the early afternoon.