The Point II

     You can only appreciate things fully when you recognize their emptiness. When you recognize the emptiness of form the point is everywhere. Everywhere is the point. Everything is the point. Nothing is outside of the point. The point is that everything is. Everything is exactly as it is. This is the point.
     It doesn't matter if there is a point or if their is no point. The point is that things are as they are. It doesn't matter whether or not you see the point because the point is everything as it is right now regardless of how much we know or don't know. The point is that it doesn't need for there to be a point for their to be a point. The point doesn't need to exist forever. The point is simply what we experience now. We think that their's a point to life and that we aren't grasping it, but we are in the sense that we are the point. We are right now and this is all there is to it. Whether or not we can see the point or whether or not there is a point this is the point. The point does not need defining, the point doesn't need locating, the point doesn't need knowing. The point is being. The point is being conscious now. The point is life now. The point is that we are. The point is what we are. Whatever it is. Or isn't. The point doesn't depend on anything. The point doesn't depend on anything at all. This is why it doesn't matter if we are aware of it or not. This is why it doesn't matter if it exists or not. It is the background of our awareness and it is our awareness. It doesn't need to be and it doesn't need not to be. This isn't a matter of ideas.
     This goes beyond knowing and thinking and being. This goes beyond all that we are. This is why it is all that we are. Our roots come from a place beyond what we are. So truth and meaning are made of things that go beyond who we are. They go beyond being. And in this sense we go beyond being. For the ground and the end and forever stretching of who we are is beyond being. Yet being is no different than this. We see being, and we see life through a small window. Being and life are not the image we see through the window, but they are the entirety what is outside. I don't know who on this Earth can see everything exactly how it is. We see life as it is because we are this entirety of what is outside. We live and are blinded by delusion, we are stuck in the room in the house with the window looking outside, but the reality is that we are no different than the outside. We are the outside. We are the outside from the inside looking through the window at the outside. We are looking at ourselves.         We live in a strange place where we are aware that we are God, yet we still are deluded. This maybe the limit of human experience. We are somehow omniscient and omnipotent, yet partially disabled and limited in our awareness. We are the universe being partially aware of itself. We intuit this, but we still can't overcome the limits of our faculties.
     This is the point. The point doesn't have to be perfect in form or being. The point is seeing without the filter of our deluded mind. The point is simply seeing through the delusion of our knowing-conceiving mind. It doesn't have to be free of delusion or ignorance. The point is just seeing without delusion. And a part of us is always this. This is why we are awake, fully awake right now.
     We try and find a truth that is concrete and eternal. We think this is awakening. We think this is enlightenment. We think enlightenment is finding our permanent self. I do not know whether or not we have a permanent self. I do know that this is not important. And that this is not necessary for enlightenment. Enlightenment is seeing things as they are, not necessarily reaching or discovering any permanent place or thing. We think that truth is seeing something that is here. We think that truth is something that is. Truth maybe a thing, but it isn't necessarily a thing. Being present maybe not being anything at all. The truth isn't bound to being, it is not being deluded in the mind. This does not mean freeing ourselves from all delusion. It does not mean that we see everything perfectly clearly. It means that we see through the delusion, we see completely outside of our thinking mind. We don't need to erase all delusion to see this. we don't need to erase all delusion to be awakened, to be enlightened. Enlightenment is seeing through the delusions of conceptualizing. It is discovering the universe outside the frame of the conceptualizing mind.
     Enlightenment, if we can call it such a thing, is what is going on right now regardless of the particular orientation of this moment. Their is no waking up, at least in an absolute sense. Their is just waking up happening right now. I think waking up means the subjective experience of waking up to truth. It seems to me that waking up is simply realizing something that already is. And not in the sense that it already is a reality outside of an unawake persons mind, being, or experience; but in the sense that it is what you are experiencing now. Not even that you don't see it. You do see it. You just don't believe you do. There's nothing you can do to see it because you see it now. The point is here and now. It is everything as it is right now: no ifs, ands, or buts. You don't need to wake up because you are awake. You don't need to stop trying to be awake because this is apart of being awake. It's apart of being alive. We think their is something wrong with us, but their isn't. Not in an absolute sense. We think we need to achieve something perfect to be enlightened or awake. We think we need to be free of sin, delusion, or weakness. We think this because we feel separate from the world. We are not separate and these ideas are just ideas, fantasies and imaginations: ungrounded extrapolations on intuitions we have of what is really going on. Perhaps someone who is awake merely sees this. This is the truth that is missing. The truth that nothing is missing. I don't need to stop you from searching for the point, because you are the point searching for yourself. The point is not just basking in awareness of itself, it is being deluded, suffering, being born and dying. No exceptions for what we don't like. Perhaps this is why the Buddha said that life is suffering. Because it is. The point is everything and I mean everything. No escape or change from that which is now. This is it.

The Point part I

     What does it mean, "The point of life".  What is the point? Is their a point? Not to say that life is pointless, but is there actually a point of life? What the fuck does this mean? Is there anything we can count on? Is there anything substantial. Is there anything that we really are? Is all this temporary and meaningless? Is there anything to communicate? Is it all empty? What does that even mean? Everything's empty?
     When I think of a point, I think of something that life comes out of. Something true. I'm wondering if there even is such a thing. Because life is an idea for that which encompasses all that is. This in itself is a presumption. The presumption that things are. Right now I don't know whether or not anything is... So this point is the underlying force of things being. I think that we often, and I myself right now, don't see past the duality of being and non-being. We think that obviously life is and that it definitely has meaning. I don't really know that it does...Not to say that it doesn't, but I think that the conclusion that life has meaning and is, without seeing through the dualism of being and non-being, doesn't cut it. Everything coming from this supposition is in thought-land. I think that the point of life, if there is one, is found when you cut through dualistic thinking.
     I'm wondering if the entire notion of things being or things is an illusion created by the delusion that we live in a universe of forms. So let's go to the bottom of the belief or idea that life is a definite thing that comes from somewhere, that is born in this moment. So we can imagine the whole universe of creation, life. What's outside of that? Nothing? This is everything? Why cannot this too pass away? Why is it permanent? Why is it eternal? Is there nothing beyond it? Is space limited to being? Why does life have to be eternal? What does eternal mean?
     What is life? Who are we? Is their anything we can grasp? If their is life, cannot life pass away? Everything else does... What is the point of life? What is real. What does real mean? Real means something that is here, now. So something that is... What's a thing?  It is that which is versus that which isn't. A thing is also something opposed to something else, or nothing else. A computer and a chair, or a computer surrounded by empty space or nothing. The nothing or something else must be for there to be a computer. We can't imagine a computer by itself. Nothing exists without something else. Even if their are no objects around the computer, we, the subject must be present to witness it for it to be.
     What does it mean to be? Thing and being are interchangeable. Without a thing, their is no being, without being, there is no thing. A thing is something that is. Being requires something. Or does it? I guess this is the point of my initial thrust. Am I? or am I not? What am I? Am I at all? If their is a point, then I am. I'm struggling with finding something that I am. With finding something that is real. And I don't fully understand what these words mean. I think I am struggling because I feel like I am, yet I cannot find anything that I am. Everything is illusory and transparent, passing. I am trying to express myself, but I cannot find a way to do so, I cannot find myself... In my mind I don't see how I am or how I could be... What does it mean to be? What is being? I don't think I can see through the duality and delusion of being and non-being. I don't want to half come out of it, then fall asleep again. Every time I think of something, I think of something. And this is not enough. My mind is trapped and I think their is an escape. If their is an escape that that isn't it. This is my point. I don't think that their is a point. I don't think that their is an escape. I don't think that their is anything to escape to. If you could escape to somewhere, then that place wouldn't be an escape. It would be another thing, another idea, another fiction. I must find something else, yet I cannot find freedom in anything else I find. So much bullshit in my head. It disgust me. Lol. sickens me. What an incredible joke. I am disgusted by things that do not exist, and I feel physically ill. This is my prison and my nightmare. It doesn't make sense, yet it is killing me. Killing my life, a life that can't be killed, because it doesn't exist. Wtf. How do I save myself, when the tools I can use don't exist, when the patient doesn't exist. When the world doesn't exist. This is the dream. I am surrounded by phantoms that don't exist. They torment me, yet this is all a dream. Nothing I can do will save me, because in trying to save myself I perpetuate the dream. I perpetuate the duality. So I sit in my torment and do nothing except suffer and let part of myself attempt to fight off the impossible. Only through my agony and ignorance comes sputterings of wisdom. Wisdom that doesn't exist. Not that I know. I keep on falling and crushing my head, stuttering and spinning. I can't slow down. I can't find anywhere to rest. If I do it doesn't last very long. Can I even wake up from this dream? Will what I wake up to save me? Or will it turn into another nothing, another empty stone. Trying and dreaming, lost in pursuits of joy and love. I don't believe in anything. Nothing at all. I am tired of bounding naively in fantasies. Tired of falling asleep in dreams just to have my head cut off over and over again. I just want to remain still where I am, somehow open. This too must be a dream. A dream of composure. A dream of success. A dream where I am separate from the world. Is their anything I can do to stave off this torment? Or is this simply the way of the world. I try to avoid suffering and madness, but is this impossible? Is it impossible to wake up from the delusion clutching my heart and my mind? Is it all merely a dream? Why does it matter what happens to me if I am not real? What does it matter if I cannot see a way out, I what I call myself is not real? Perhaps it is life to pass from joy to suffering to joy to suffering. Sanity to madness . We don't want it, but what choice do we have? Can we really stave off evil completely? We live in hope and expectation to be free of darkness, how much of this is out of our control? How much of this do we really have power over? Part of us clings to hope that the nightmare will end. Yet it continues and it continues. I guess it may end, but for most of us it won't. And even if it does. We will still be dreaming and in another time, we will come back to gloom and despair.
     I still try to escape my suffering. It grows smaller and smaller as delusion falls away. Trying to cling to something. To some idea of everlasting bliss. But always in fear of pain and suffering. Always clinging to darkness and perpetuating its torment in my life. To truly be free of suffering, we would have to completely overcome our fear and delusion. And I am still learning. What's the point? I don't know if their is or isn't one. I don't even know exactly what this means? What is the point to or of life? If it is, can I know it?
     Is the point of life important to know? When we know it, do we feel good? Reassured? Is the point of life seeing what life is? Seeing free of the fog of delusion? I think it does, if it does, have to do with sight. Seeing something and perhaps not seeing something else. What is it that we see? This must be the point if their is a point. When the fog of delusion has cleared, we see the point, right? Lol so what is this point that we see free of delusion? What do we see that we haven't seen? What was missing? What's missing now? If all this is true then something must be missing from our sight right now. Maybe nothing is missing from our sight and we just think and feel like something is missing because we are suffering so. Maybe the point is apart of what we call ourselves right now. This is what the wisdom traditions say. Nothing is missing, we just think something is missing because of our delusion. So what can I see, that I already have, that I think I don't have or don't see? I may even already see it, wise people would say that I do see it perhaps. So what do I think is not here that is here. I guess they may say kosmic consciousness or being present, or non-duality. What the fuck are these? Kosmic with a K muthafucka! Walcom Watts would say these are signs or fingers pointing to the moon. Mistaking the finger pointing to the moon as the moon is the same as mistaking Kosmic consciousness for Cosmic Conciousness. Ooo italics! italics....yea... special emphassisss. Emphasese! Emphose! What I'm saying is that are these things even what we think they are? Is the point really pointy? And what are they? Ya that too. Can I even speak the truth? Can anyone? Is their even truth to be spoken? Is truth temporary, relative, yet ungrounded in anything real? The key is seeing the delusion of thinking that something is a something that is far removed and definitely not nothing. And thinking that the point is something like this. My grandmother, who I live with with my family, who is losing her mind due to dementia just said, without being prompted, that she is afraid because she doesn't know who she is, where she is, or how she is. She's 93 with her head bent and slumped forward as she ponders somewhat fearfully her predicament. Her voice is small, yet warm, clear and surprisingly lucid compared to how she usually sounds. She feels incredibly vulnerable. Like she is naked in a vague unknown void and she is realizing this for the first time. Like she is speaking from a place beyond our world. Or at least the world that most of us experience, yet she sounds more strangely alive and present here than we often do. We think that something is separate from nothing, making the point something also not separate from nothing. We see something and nothing as two distinct separate things. Yet in our minds nothing is a something  or else we wouldn't be able to imagine it. How could we imagine what we imagine nothing to be? Impossible, because a true nothing would not be able to be imagined. In the best sense, the word nothing must point to the aspect of life that is truly nothing. This true nothing would be impossible to describe in words, so it could only be pointed at with words. If we forget what it points to, then we may fall into the dream delusion of dualistic thinking. In our everyday imagination and thought most of us see something and nothing as separate and we have forgotten or never knew what these words actually pointed or point to.
     We definitely have inklings of what these words point to, inklings dimly roused in our cinematic experiences, yet our waking awareness of these realities is largely nonexistent. What these words point to is  what we call meaningful, importance, real, true. When we fall asleep in the conceptual world and forget our intuitive and instinctual connections to "reality" we lose that reality. And, we forget what that reality is and how to access it. We become horribly confused in our minds and in our thinking, desperately and stupidly attached to ideas and beliefs, when inside we are blind worms squirming in the darkness of the dirt. No offense. This is just how it is. No exception for me either.
     This leads to the madness of the world, the inanities of our daily experience and our miserable search for what is real. So what's the point. Can't seem to hit the nail on the head. Hopefully, by this point, lol puns, I have raised the hammer high enough with my dominant arm and am prepared for a good swing. What's the point? It's what something points to that isn't different from what nothing points to. Maybe here, we will find our answer. I think we will. I think here we find the whole thing. Somehow emptiness is the key to life. The void is the bearer of form. Our point is without point, pointless. Yet it is sharp and defining. I don't understand how this makes sense, yet somehow it does. I wish to know more...Tis all for tonight! I will probably write another part tomorrow. Peace friends! Point-bless you!

Plan for spreading "We Are" consciousness

What do I want to do?:
Spread truth throughout the world. Be apart of a consciousness paradigm shift in humanity. Do this via the internet. Find ways to regularly interact with people online doing this. Build a following so that I can make money being a teacher/counselor and speaker.

Money
     -Have patreon or donations
     -Write books
     -Life coach/counseling
     -Classes and public speaking


Consciousness/Social Shift
     -Build and strengthen human society and consciousness online
     -Build and strengthen human society and consciousness locally
     -Create and connect with "I am/We are" God-consciousness communities on the state, national, and international level joining and establishing a single coherent force to awaken and liberate humanity
     - Personally work on "raising" my own consciousness, refining my perception of truth, and strengthening my understanding of and awareness and presence in "I am God Consciousness". Putting myself in a better and better position to deliver this Awareness to humankind.

p.s. - I think this is a God-consciousness movement....


Building and strengthening human society and consciousness online
     -Find the right turf
          + Find group/communities that are receptive to this "effort"
          + Teach/give them dharma of "Universal righteousness in I am/We Are consciousness"
          + Finding the right turf can be creating the right turf via my blog and youtube videos.
Build and strengthen human society and consciousness locally
     -Spread this consciousness in my family
     -Spread this consciousness with my friends
     -Find others on this level in the community and meet regular to discuss these ideas and take action
         +Build this community awareness and effort. Start taking action to raise the consciousness of the local community. "Restoring the community"
                >Serve the homeless
                >Serve the impoverished
                >Serve the sick and mentally ill
                >Provide counseling, community, and emotional support
                >Be involved in protecting/enhancing the community through economic/legislative                                 measures.
                      -Ensure maintenance of laws that promote wellbeing in the community
                      -Pursue legislation that promotes wholesomeness and fairness in the community
                      -Pursue legislation that protects and conserves the land and biodiversity in Skagit                                   Valley
                      -Use economic/financial means to conserve land and create environmental awareness                            through education
                      -Use economic/financial means to create support, and expand wholesome business in                           Skagit Valley                   
        + This effort would probably result in "community centers" in Skagit Valley.
                > Although this effort may result in commercial and official enterprises, the main principle will remain "goodwill and common sense". The goal and driving force is "consciousness of God". The goal is to be driven by and united in "God or Unity Consciousness". To see it and live it in whatever form it takes in organizing ourselves and society: whether it results in corporations for or non-profit; or predetermined, structured or spontaneous organization: to see and be moved by the whole. To recognize it and share it with others. To make it the fabric of our society. It may involve the use of force, but it is grounded in the conscious inspiration of "Love and God"
                 
Build and strengthen human society and consciousness  statewide , nationwide, and internationally
     - Establishing "We Are/God Consciousness" worldwide through a joint local, state, national, and international level. Through an joint international movement of "We Are" consciousness. This is it!
     -Creating local movements, spreading the seed, and identifying and uniting with other "same inspired movements" throughout the state, the country, and the world.
     -Creating a single network of "We Are" directed groups and individuals.
     -Same directive internationally. Peace on Earth through God-Wisdom-Love Consciousness.
     -Unite all peoples under the force of Love and Unity

Why?
     I strongly feel this movement awakening right now. I feel, almost without a doubt, that is the way forward through the intense upheaval happening right now on our planet. I feel like this is the future of the human species and I feel compelled by my intuition to see it come into being. I feel like this is the answer to human suffering. I see it underneath and popping out of what we call, "Everyday and normal human experience". Like it is ripe to be born on Earth. I may even say that it has been cooking in the oven for some time, planned for and anticipated by the wise of our people for a very long time. It feels like the coming of a new age, a great age, a free age. I am not completely certain of this. I do feel it very strongly. I feel even more confident that we will see pockets of this consciousness erupt and strengthen themselves on Earth amidst what we see as typical human society. Perhaps it is the alchemy of what was once esoteric finally reaching the mainstream of human consciousness.
     I know there are many others like me who feel this awakening and are undoubtedly excited or stirred by it. I think I know that we are meant to reach out to each other and form bonds unlike those we have made before. Bring the truth and the science and the mystery evermore into the forefront of our lives and of society. Build and establish community with it. We have melted our flesh, now it is time to melt our muscles, organs and our bones in the divine light of truth: in the alchemy of the age. To go further. Further than we may feel comfortable with, further than we ever expected. We all have different paths to take, I think many of us are moving in unexpected and uncertain ways where our mortal lives feel threatened. We may find ourselves more afraid than we wish or wished to be at this point on our path, and wish the world to be going in a direction other than how it has been shifting, but look within. Can you sense the riptide of the divine force tearing across us? Can you sense the love growing underneath the turmoil and fear? I can.
     Perhaps this is more apart of my own awakening than a massive social evolution. I think not. I think now is the time. Now is the time to take decisive steps towards making real our vision. Their is room available for us in the sudden and great shifting of the Earth. Those who can see. Move forward, gather up. Room to makes our dreams of community come true. I think faith and strength of the "old" way lessens in the wake of what seem to be crisis of our times. Where we thought life could never go in our lifetimes or in the next five years, life may be going. Shockingly deep consciousness and social change. It will send us into fear and hysteria, and it will shake away some of our fantasy beliefs hitting at the core of who we are. The world is not going to wait for us. It moves as it does regardless to our level of comfort or personal ambition. I think this is a time for those who are awake enough to see more clearly their delusions,grasp more firmly the bare naked truth of their lives, stop more of the bullshit, and step into a truer more fulfilling way of being in better alignment with the flow of the planet. The "shakedown" of our narcissism fueled pipe dreams and and a maturing of our hearts and vision.
     The delusion and obsession is deep, it is not going to fall away overnight. This time requires patience and tolerance, grit and openness amidst great fear and uncertainty. This "awakening" may not come in the way we wish, but it is here. It is the awakening of mankind. I do not know how it will go or what is in store for us, but I have a better understanding of how I wish to respond and how I wish to orient myself. I am also terribly relieved that it is here. It has been a long time coming.

Healthy energy flow in the body

    Restriction of the energy flow in the body leads to disease. We have restrictions in the energy flow because of our egoic consciousness. Our egoic consciousness inherently creates restrictions in the body in its innate effort to force the world to be other than it is. It rejects the natural flowing of energies in the body and wars against them in pursuit of own idea of what is right. To have healthy energy flow in the body, the individual must release their egoic grip on their body. The mind must harmonize with the body and the abrasive restricting relationship must change.
     We do not trust that our bodies can fend for themselves. We believe we must force ourselves in regimen to attain success, health, and security. It is true that it is important to control our passions in pursuit of the betterment of ourselves, but eventually we must release the grip of our minds over our bodies and rejoin our "baser" natures. The latter is what I am writing about here.
     When we have cultivated a certain awareness of the mind-body connection, we feel compelled to spontaneously let our bodies be involved in the way we act. We are curious if not intensely curious in what will happen if we let ourselves be guided by our spontaneous feelings and instincts. We question the absolute authority of the reasoning mind in its ability to provide for the self and turn our confidence to our spontaneous instincts and intuitions (feelings). The process of tuning out of the rational thinking mind and the tuning into the subconscious/ higher conscious modes is the letting go of the conscious mind and the ego in a small way. The more you tune into your body, the more this small way becomes a great wide avenue. I stress again that this process is not immature hedonism, giving in to the darkness of our passions, but a conscious more mature re-integration of our passions, bodies, instincts into a newer broader mode of operation.
     Without the divisions imposed by egoic perception on the body and it's energies, they are free to move about more freely. It is by this spontaneous rediscovery and integration of the body into our conscious activity, that we discover the various energy centers of the self and cultivate a natural harmony with ourself and life itself. Within the body lie not only the vital energies, but many more that connect us to eachother and the world in ways we can hardly imagine. Health is the harmonious flow of these energies. The more the ego is transcended, the more these energies seem to be one flowing or radiating wave of energy. This is the warm golden light of the heart. The vital, robust, energy of goodwill.
     When we see a healthy person, we see this energy or light not only coming out of their smile, but out of their whole body. Perhaps radiating from their very cells. We perceive a seemlessness and wholeness of their energy and being, as well as a singleness of their body and mind. This singleness of their nature allows for their energy and life force to flow in an unrestricted way. This may be apparent when looking upon animals or children and in familiar characters such as Robin Hood or Peter Pan.
     This unified energy flow can also be called single-pointed concentration. It is a way of concentrating and meditating that enables healthy energy flow in the bodymind being. You can call it yoga too, meaning yoga in the broadest sense of simply that which unites. When we are developing our spontaneous intuitive-instinctive action as I described above, we are developing the beginnings of single-pointed concentration, yoga, and meditation. Their are specific established practices that people deem as single-pointed concentration, yoga, and meditation. Some may say and think that these structured practices are the only ways to be single-minded, or practice yoga, or meditate. I think it's healthy to view these terms in a broader sense in which we see them as gradual  transformations of consciousness and our bodies that can happen and do happen in any situation we find ourselves in. We can practice single-mindedness, we can meditate, we can practice yoga at all times in any activity if we open our minds to the possibility of having these experiences in any and every ordinary experience.
    This single-pointed concentration, the same as meditation and yoga, is the creation and establishing of healthy energy flow in the body. It is the shedding and transformation of the egoic thinking mind to body awareness and body flow. The awareness it cultivates allows us to sense through direct perception how our actions inhibit or enable the healthy flow of energy. It's the transformation from  living by beliefs and principles, customs and typical social practices to life organized by the spontaneous, intuitive, direct awareness of the flow of energy in the body. Our sense of that which brings the best harmony of body energy (body flow) becomes our guiding principle as we gradually lose interest in beliefs and upholding regimented social practices.
     This works because social beliefs (social prescriptions) are inherently limited in their wisdom: their awareness of life as it is. Social beliefs are half alive and half dead truths. The living part enables body flow. The dead part creates restrictions in body flow and dis-ease. Spontaneous intuitive direct awareness cultivates awareness of the structure of life as it is, not through the filter of an idea that says some things are good and some things are bad. Like the idea that premarital sex is absolutely wrong. It is good in the sense that it serves as a social strengthening device by strengthening the family structure and putting a harness on what often can be destructive libidos, but is premarital sex really a sin? What if two people fully consciously choose to have sex without marriage in a way that is mindful of how it effects themselves, their families and their society. They have sex out of true love for eachother and for life itself. But they're not married? Is this bad? Must we hold ourselves to such social and traditional beliefs if we are acting from a place of Good? Must society exist with these beliefs to function well? What if we were more awake and acted not based on binding belief but on unbinding liberating direct awareness of how what we do upholds or disrupts the balance and integrity of life as it is now?
     Social beliefs (beliefs in general) will always keep us from cultivating direct awareness. Ironically within them are the seeds that inspire us to cultivate direct awareness by taking them seriously and eventually going beyond them. Though as much of a purpose they serve, they are stepping stones to cross a river, not the entire way we travel. The harsh, "No!", always creates tension in the body, which leads to meanness and blindness and dis-ease in the individual. When we compromise the integrity of the body with the dis-ease of tension, we compromise our sensing abilities. When our sensing abilities are compromised we do not act appropriately because we cannot see clearly what it is that needs to be done. We become mean and ignorant, when we could be aware, understanding and kind.
     We gradually transition from beliefs to direct awareness. This usually doesn't happen overnight. It seems for all, or for nearly all of us, that we don't fully transcend beliefs. It is apparent that most if not all human beings have tension and dis-ease in the body, as well as thoughts and beliefs. Their is no imperative need to make this transition. No need to cross the river. Though, we naturally take steps across it, and it may help to know how to cross without getting too wet.
     Health as a thing to be attained is an idea. Their is greater and lesser health of an organism relative to other organisms. Greater ease, greater and lesser tension in the body, greater and lesser harmony of energies, organs, tissues, cells. We may have many ideas tied to it that are not real. We recognize health as a quality in a living thing. It is the quality of "proper and vigorous functioning" usually tied to the functioning of what we perceive to be the separate physical body of a creature. I say we have many ideas tied to our notion of "health' that are not real because in order for our bodies to be healthy, our minds must be healthy. Health is not limited to the body, because nothing is limited to the body, everything is interdependent. So our best description of health must also be health in regard to our whole being. We may even say their are multiple kinds of health. But, health in itself is healthy flow wherever it may be.
     Healthy flow, harmonious, unified and one-direction flow is inspired by direct awareness of the Whole of being. This seamless one-direction flow is what we call health. Or at least what we used too. It seems to me that, generally speaking of course,  society as it is now is so separated in mind and thought that our perception of true health is vague and diminished from what it was say 50 or 60 years ago. Not that we were wiser as a whole in the past, I just think that we had a better sense of health then: at least in our ability to recognize it. The perception has diminished because our health has diminished. I mean this in the sense that our wholeness of mind and body has diminished. The singleness of mind and body cannot change, but the awareness of it can: a change of awareness that incurs both psychological and physical disease. This is what I speak of, the dimming of the red-amber-gold vital presence within humankind: especially in our physical bodies. In today's world, I can imagine a doctor looking at a patient with a better understanding of their physical ailments than a doctor of the past, proclaiming that the patient is healthy, when the patient is suffering from severe depression and is definitely not in the sense of their overall health and the health of their energy flow. Their energy flow is definitely weak and dis-eased.
     The gold-rich hearted seamless one-direction flow of energy comes from direct awareness of the Whole. This awareness culminates from the transcending of the egoic mind that I described in detail earlier in this essay. The dropping away of the ego due to the advantageousness of direct spontaneous and intuitive awareness expands body and environment awareness to the full extent of perception and the underlying truth of "reality" as we know it. To the Whole. This is the perception of the non-duality and oneness of life and being. A single body encompassing the entire universe. We can call it God, Oneness, Cosmic Consciousness. The single unified flow of energy of the human being is inspired and created through direct and immediate awareness of this Whole. It is single and of one-direction because the underlying movement of the kosmos is single and of one-direction. It think this flow is health in the truest sense of the word. Egoic consciousness makes us feel separate from the world, thus our energy moves in many discordant directions resulting in the tangled masses of tension most of us have throughout our physiology. Whole-minded consciousness loosens, straightens and unites these discordant energies through immediate sense of the entire construct of reality. It automatically optimizes energy flow and energy unity. It wishes everything to be placed perfectly in order.
     Healthy flow means that energy is flowing. Restricted, caught up, and stagnant energy is not healthy. Healthy flow is also positive healthy flow. It is uplifting of the spirits, rewarding and engendering of successful and amiable experience. Healthy energy flow is free and open and playful; all the while being composed and natural and strong. The ego says, "This!, not that!" It grips and clings forcefully, fighting against the current of life, and in doing so fights against the internal flow of energy in the body. By letting go of the ego and the limited power of our thinking, we let go of our indelicate and restrictive will. We gain wisdom of the Whole and can tap into the full potential our bodies have to offer. Healthy flow comes from an inner embrace, or Yes, to life in it's entirety. From within the center of our hearts it is the choice to press play.
     Life doesn't have to been so challenging. It can be easy and affordable. We may find ourselves having so much trouble in the world because in a way we our going against our natures. We grow up conditioned to be a certain way that may be more restricting than enabling to our personal natures. We may wish to be more, or less. The key to healthy flow is getting the energy of the body to flow. Getting it to flow in a positive way, and learning how to feel our way forward through the expression of our self (our energy) in the choices we make. By mastering this feeling, we ride the wave of our energy through the corridors of life. We learn to bob and weave and float as life continues to evolve. Through this intuition, we discover the underlying  Unity of life and the infinite eternal balance of the present moment.
     We don't have to try so hard, we have to try hard enough. Find the sweet spot that makes the flowers grow. No single method is superior. It's not the method itself, its finding what works for you in the here and now. This is unique to our unique personal situation and is discovered through ourselves, not through imitation or worldly knowledge. We must be careful of depending too much on what we think will work and we must learn to discover what works in the here and now. The bottom line in positive energy movement and positive growth. This isn't necessarily tied to a specific philosophy, religion or practice. These are all medicines not the Way itself. The more awake you become the more you will realize that whatever makes you move in a positive way is good, its not anything in particular, it's whatever moves you here and now. This realization is apart of the transition from the thinking believing mind to the spontaneous instinct-intuitive mind. While we are seekers, we get lost in idea after idea of what truth is and how to reach truth. The key is to be aware of what we can do to keep the ball moving forward. Use ideas and practices as way points, but don't hold onto them too tightly. Recognize the limitations of our ideas and be ready to let them go when we sense something truer arriving in our lives. Consciousness is always deepening, the key is not to find one way that works, but to allow ourselves, our way, to evolve in the present moment.
     Truly health comes from discovering our own flow and flowing with it. This is the path of cleanliness. This is what leads to deeper awareness. It is freedom from mind. Freedom from thought and worry.
     This healthy flow may come in the form of great effort, but it is of inner weightless application of will. It is from the vigorous energies and focus summoned by a detached personal outlook. Engaged through embrace and allowance, not through clinging. Directed towards objects without seizing passions and blinding desire. Uplifting, not depressing. Natural and spontaneous and inclusive.
     We don't have to be so anxious about succeeding in life, we can allow life to happen to us, and many good things will come of this. We can go with the flow and awaken to our deeper natures. We can let go of the world and find ourselves deep in love. We can let go of our health and become holy. Let go of control and find ourselves skilled beyond our means. This is the great strength of the soul. This is the great strength of the holy flow.

Thunder and Lightening crash upon thee

 You are on Earth as you are in Heaven.
   

   

No need for any particular conditions part II

     Hishiryo consciousness. Beyond thought. We do not need to clear our minds of all thoughts. We do not need to eliminate all conditioned thinking. We do not need to eliminate all of our desires. We do not need to attain any state of mind or any moral standing. We do not need to attain hishiryo consciousness. I write this because I am compelled by my feelings to convey the truth of the delusion and unsatisfactorily of pursuing conditioned states; and the truth and satisfaction of realizing the insubstantiality of form and dwelling in unconditioned consciousness. It is the way.
     Personal freedom is hishiryo consciousness. It is a step on the path that we arrive at through our demons. Not by distancing ourself from the world, but by embracing it. Or simply by living it. For we cannot truly distance ourself from the world, from negativity, or from evil. We only imagine that we do. Hishiryo consciousness is the ever present background of our narrow thinking, as it is all that our narrow thinking is. At least for awhile. It itself may be impermanent. But, as we awaken from conditioned being to unconditioned being, we experience hishiryo consciousness as the single quality and reality behind, within, and eventually as the true nature of all conditioned being. I think this realization is quite astonishing to most of us who are so certain of the ability of our desires and reasoning to provide fulfillment and security. It is also quite astonishing in its quality that reveals the utter baselessness and heartlessness of our personal identity: of Carol, Chris, Steve and Marrion. We imagine enlightenment as the eternal bliss and superiority of our individual selves: the never ending sputtering of our inner dialogue. Perhaps there is eternal bliss of some personal being, but there is also the complete abandonment of form and any attachments we have to our mortal selves. There is the void. Stark as this may appear in contrast to our deepest fantasies, it can be quite liberating to one who is tired of the incessant nagging of the worrying mind. One who is a prisoner of the mind and has died enough already to the terrible superficiality of the world and ourselves.
     It can be a lot to abandon the sure sure world that we know to the unknowns of the void, but if you  are guided wisely, you may come across the truly priceless joy of having genuine emotion and genuine feeling. Of looking out into the world and feeling mystery, change, and sensing that though you are stepping on the Earth, you are also stepping on something else and being carried somewhere else. Of having no principle to stand upon but your own 2 cents, your gut, and your gay determination to do something new and exciting. To be something more than you are now by continuously venturing into the beyond. Hishiryo consciousness.
     We do not leave behind the woes of the world, we plunge deeper into them. We enhance our character, our vigor, our meanness and our toughness. We drink in the seas that are the mixed bag of human life. If we are lucky, we find greater and greater balance among the angels and demons. We cultivate warmth and peace; kindness and glee. We may remain blind. We may have spotty vision. Yet we may know with increasing confidence what we are and we are not fearing less and less our mortality. Hishiryo consciousness is not necessarily perfect wisdom and compassion, it is the realization of that nothing needs to be attained.
     We have a sense of destination. That someday we will be somewhere where we truly are. It seems that this is the projection of our insecurities into the future. A postponing of facing who and what we really are and what we really know about the world and ourselves. Our deep uncertainty as to the nature of reality and our inability to thwart death. The temporyness of our position. The sand running through our fingers. I feel that the more we can face what is, the more this destination may dissolve. The more we find ourselves with what we currently have and nothing else.
     We may personally find hishiryo consciousness through radical acceptance of the present, but this is not necessary. For all is hishiryo consciousness. The experience of not experiencing hishiryo consciousness is hishiryo consciousness. We imagine that fulfillment lies here and not there. From this choice and not from this choice. Hishiryo consciousness permeates all form. It is all form. We imagine that we can step towards ourself or away from ourself. Can we? It is the wind of the winds. Some bitter, some sweet. Some interesting, some dull. Some neglected, some honed and perfected. We think we must take certain action and avoid others. How can we turn away from a God that lives in the left hand as equally as she does in the right? How can we turn away from a light that radiates from all points of space and time? In navigating the world towards the good, our job is not to find the way, but to be apart of the poetry of life. To be the flower and the thistle. The wolf, the lion, the Eagle and a human with all its wisdom and folly. These are not good and bad, but many leaves on a tree. They are empty of guilt and sin, they are equally composed and not to be found without eachother. They have no special meaning or permanent significance. They cannot hold onto you forever, nor do they take you from yourself as you are now.
     When we are blind, we cannot see. This does not mean that the world is any different in the darkness as it is in the light. It means that in the dark we cannot judge what form may lie in front of our eyes. Thus it is impossible to know the truth in the dark. What we claim to see in the dark is not the truth, it is fiction. We claim that there is this and there is that, that there is good and there is bad. This is spoken from the dark. This is fiction. There is only Hishiryo consciousness. All possible choices are many limbs on a tree. They are all equally apart of the tree. We see quite a variety of choices varying in their merit, feeling and design. Hishiryo consciousness shows us that these choices are not as different as we may think. In fact, we cannot choose between them. We find that they are all the same and we are all of them at once extending into the limits of time and space. We are hishiryo consciousness.
     We may not be able to make a distinction between the choices in our lives, but our passions may still  move us to choose. And if we live in greater darkness, we cannot see that no choice is better than another. The point is not to stop choosing or to always see the choicelessness of experience, but to know that we do not need to be any way at all. Whether we rise or fall is irrelevant. It's not a question of attaining.
     We confuse our attempt to survive and better ourselves with the truth. We think truth is confined to the realm of striving and obtaining, and because of this we continue striving and obtaining to find the truth. In striving to obtain, our minds are clouded by our passionate desire which holds us in ignorance. When we are wanting enlightenment, we are seeing it as an object that we are blindly and passionately attached to. This seeing is egoic seeing, it is the universe divided in perception. We see enlightenment as something we personally attain and I think it is hard for most people to see it otherwise. We see everything through the filter of our separate feeling egoic object desiring mind. We have to get past this filter to see hishiryo consciousness. Truth is limited to the scope of this egoic filter. We think enlightenment is bound to our personal success and/or failure. Enlightenment is not bound to your personal successes or failures. Fulfillment is not limited to personal success. Enlightnement and hishiryo consciousness is life as it is now regardless of your state of being. Enlightenment transcends the egoic mode of person attaining objects and person being individual separate person. It transcends success and failure. It transcends you. It's not a question of your searching, it is your searching. You must step outside of yourself to find hishiryo consciousness.
     But this is not important. Because you are hishiryo consciousness. Life is hishiryo consciousness, everything is hishiryo consciousness. Our desires provide fulfillment for the organism and the ego, but they do not provide fulfillment for the self. I think fulfillment may be a passing dream. We contort truth into our narrow personal perceptions. It becomes things like fulfillment and principles that uphold the good. We often miss the truth behind these signs and they become useless. I think in the end they are entirely useless. Fulfillment of the self is not fulfillment of the self. It is fulfillment of the self story, the self dream. It's about having things and being things. It is not the fulfillment of unfettered perception. It is limited to personal experience. Total liberation isn't a fairy tale, it's a mechanical unwinding of a jack-in-the-box. In seeking fairy tails of liberation and attainment, we seek dreams, we miss the point, we walk on a tight rope over flames and daggers. To find sense is to wake up from the dream and realize that personal attainment is very very limited and a joke. To find sense is to have nothing and be nothing.
     We see everything in terms of egoic striving. We contort the truths of the world into this mindframe. In this way we are insane. We think the answers of life are egoic and they are not. We think the universe is egoic and it is not. We think everything is egoic and it is not. We think that we will reach fulfillment through striving and this will not happen. It will not happen because fulfillment will end before we find it. We think that our egoic strivings are the work required to bring about the fulfillment of our desires. We are mistaken. We think the way we do things will get us what we want. We think we need to toil, that we need to work. That we need to worry, or dress a certain way, be a certain way. This is all ritual. It is convention. It is not grounded in real sense. The truth is resplendent in itself and does not depend on anything in particular.
     So much of what we do is made up. It is social rules to help us survive better. It is not necessary by its innate value, but by the value it brings by being apart of a collection of co-existing guidelines. As a whole they help us survive. Individually they are meaningless. We assign meaning to them. Much of this meaning is arbitrary and no longer meaningful. No longer prudent. This is where laws become obstacles rather than bowling alley bumpers. This is where people pile up and get really angry. Where mental dishealth blossoms ungracefully. This is cancer and self-canabalism. This is suicide and the living dead. Not that these are absolutely bad things or unnatural things. Or that they are separate from anything great or good.
     We assume that the best we can do is reach this plateau of personal bliss where all our problems will vanish. Where all our suffering will vanish. More so we assume that this bliss is the remedy for the suffering in our lives. I don't think we can solve the problem of suffering as long as we believe we separate from the world. Even if we are in heaven. The answer isn't egoic. And it's not an answer that needs to eliminate suffering from our lives.
     The answer isn't to eliminate suffering completely from our lives, but to realize through insight that this isn't necessary. That their is nothing wrong with suffering. This is not apathy or immaturity: it is a realization of the emptiness of the self, or ego. The problem of our lives is not suffering itself, but the suffering that is the suffering of feeling separate from the world. Feeling torn, isolated, deprived, repressed, blind in constant anxiety. Why do we feel this way? This feeling is what we wish to remedy. We attach so many puffed up ideas to this feeling that deflate when we closely inspect them. Deflate and disappear. Heaven so on and so forth. Again, it isn't necessary to remedy this feeling, it is simply that this feeling is what truly bothers us, everything else is unnecessary. The solution is the awakening of transcendence through egoic consciousness, which happens as effortlessly as flowers blossom in the Spring. We assume the answer is through egoic effort for the egoic person. The answer is the slow death of the egoic mind and the gradual birth of transpersonal consciousness from the ashes and bones of the ego in a space perhaps impossible to describe.
     We don't need to eliminate suffering from our lives because in a way it doesn't matter whether we are suffering or not. Suffering is bad when we cannot accept it in our lives: when we feel that it is negative, wrong and in opposition to who we are and what we deem important. If it is inseparable from everything we cherish and apart of what we love and something we do not need to be afraid of, it isn't so bad. If we see it as identical to joy and as the very substance of life, we may not recognize it at all. If striving has greatly diminished in our lives we may not hear it at all.
     We are attached to "things" in our lives and often fully immersed in our relationship to these things. People, things, ideas. We are attached to these things to the point that they are who we sense to be ourselves. We are a collection of these attachments. Not only do we sense that these things and relationships are ourselves, we believe they are in our minds. When our relationship with these things is compromised while we are positively identified with them, we suffer. When we don't get what we want, when our personal relationships aren't how we wish them to be we suffer. I think we feel threatened when what we are personally attached to is compromised. We feel like we need them to be ok even if we may be completely fine without them. Here's the kicker. We suffer because we imagine that we won't be ok. We think, to some degree/on some level, that we need these attachments. We believe that we need to end suffering because we are attached to the idea that we are a separate individual that can die and we feel threatened by what we perceive as weaknesses of this separate self. We are also attached to the idea that living in bliss forever is good. We are attached to all sorts of ideas concerning the notion of the separate self. It is our attachment to these ideas and the world of objects that interplay in them that cause us suffering. As we are attached to these beliefs of our self, we will suffer when something comes in between us and our beliefs. There can be ease in suffering when "we" realize that we are something other than these beliefs that we are something other than the separate perceiving egoic consciousness. But the idea that we need to ease suffering is also a nonsense idea of the separate self. Their is suffering, their is ego, their is no one who is truly threatened by these. Their is no absolute truth that we need to eliminate suffering. We may truly wish to eliminate it within ourselves, but we do not need to, nor do we need to pursue the elimination of suffering even if it is impossible to do so.
     The human mind finds "fulfillment" not when an individual has achieved some lofty moral or spiritual aim, but when the mind of that individual has penetrated through the darkness that is consciousness wholly consumed by dualistic perception. The mind wholly immersed in and attachment to the perceived universe of separate forms. Nirvana is liberation from a mind of opposites. It is liberation from and transcendence of the imagining and fantasizing mind which is lost in form and the imagination of form. It is absolutely independent of anything at all. Religions may ring with eternal truth, but it is unnecessary to follow them absolutely.
     As the mind wakes up, it becomes clearer and clearer how the story of the individual who is such and such, does such and such, and needs such and such is empty of absolute importance. This is to say, that the attention does not need to dwell on the individual. In fact, nothing is of absolute importance and the mind does not need to dwell on anything at all. This is true because the life and world of the individual person with all their unique importances is in fact unneccessary, insignificant, and largely if not entirely a fiction. The self is important in the fact that it is. We are. This is. This is what importance is, the mere fact of being anything at all.
   
 
   
   
   

No need for any particular conditions

     As we aspire to fulfill our dreams we steer away from unpleasant circumstance. We are afraid of death. We do not know what life is. We are attached to specific forms and are lost in the pursuit and maintenance of them in our lives. We believe that they are what we need. We do not notice how we seek them and how the way we seek them can make us blind, deluded and suffer. We do not notice how fearful and compulsive conditioned grasping does not fulfill us. We do not notice how this habit misses the point and is an act of confusing true satisfaction with something else. Something imaginary.
     We are so convinced of our need to live by the maintenance of certain structures and so blinded by this habit, that we may entirely miss the point of being. We may entirely miss the present moment which is all that is real and all we can depend upon. We are so lost in our detached thinking that we cannot sense the reality of now. Our feeble senses that urge us to continue our imaginings are what remains of instinctual intuitive living sense of the present moment and whatever it entails. The point of being is that we are alive and that we may have something to do right now. Awake instinct and feeling automatically directs us to what is vitally important right now.
     We confuse the significance of obtaining specific forms with the significance of being here right now. We believe this new car or this new state of mind will bring us peace and satisfaction, but they do not. We confuse the quality of how we imagine objects to be with a fully awake sense of now. Our confusion lies in the belief that these objects are separate individual forms and special because of their unique qualities. We miss the point in being caught up in the idea that they are separate forms. This is a dream. And, a confusion of our most basic senses. We turn what may be pure emptiness into a bedraggled rickshaw quanundrum. Complete nonsense. We assume that their is a point, that there is something steady when both of these maybe complete fictitious. We miss what may be here dancing in our imaginations and unskillfully performing in the world. We are awkward buffoons.
     The truth may be that we do not see at all. Or that the world is one and we are one with it. Whatever it may be, the search for fulfillment in form leads to suffering and the realization of the impermanence of form is liberation from conditioned being. Form, not even our mortal life, will fulfill our ambition and desire. For these are empty of themselves. They too are imagined. Fulfillment lies in the realization of the inability to fulfill the mind through attachment to conditioned states. It truly is death of the self. The death of grasping. When we are, we are something else than an idea.
We are living beings here and now. We do have desires and we do have feelings, but they are not separate from the world. They are the world. We are One. Undivided in God Consciousness Eternal and everlasting. We are unknown to the egoic world. The world of separation. We are the living now and we need not think about what we need to do to be fulfilled or survive. We do think about what we need to do to be fulfilled or survive. It is irrelevant what it is and relevant that it is.
     We are so attached to the notions we have of what is important. Yet we are so full of doubt. We are so full of blindness. We are rambling around without a clue of what is truly important, yet it stares at us in the face always. We are so caught up in the world, in such disarray, such fear and worry that we will not listen to ourselves and we will not listen to our conscience. We know what we need to do, but we are lost in the chaos of our lives. The direction we are going is wrong, yet it is right in that it is. In that it is going somewhere and all roads lead the awakening of the self. The truth is that the sound of the trees and the blood in our veins are the way of the world. And that dancing in the rain will never lead to unblemished life. We are wet and damp and sick with a cold. Cutting away the irrelevancies is the key to success. We must get rid of what is unimportant and not real if we are to see what is here, who we are, and what is important. Focusing on specific things alone will not fulfill us. We must recognize that we are fulfilled as we are now.