Seven Shades of Merlin

 

Sup peoples

    Things continue to get more interesting. My life continues to turn towards the unimaginable. My direction is becoming a magical field of flowers in which I don't seem to be looking as much ahead. And where who I am is not who I thought I was going to be. Life decided to get outrageous. Fortunately for me. Perhaps my life is becoming increasingly fey. This is one aspect, enhanced by the sparkling Christmas tree to my right, an invitation to trip out. Lol. It's like hey, I'm a tree. I'm a tree with little blue, red, yellow, green and white lights on it. Pretty sweet right? I'm in your living room too, just chillen. You fuckers had to cut me down. Whatev's I'm a just do my thing while I can. 
     I think it's this time of year. Something magical happens during Winter. Some strange otherworldly energy blows through and fills the air. I feel like I'm living more in astral space. My mind feels like it's easier to slip. Perhaps easier to dream. I wasn't so sure I would enjoy Winter. Corona sucks, and the state of the US sucks a lot, but I love how it feels outside. I just wish we humans were more quiet so we could hear it better. I really do think now is a time for inner healing, consolidation of energies, and a deepening of feeling. To become more still, and less attached to the happenings of the world. To let things go and go someplace else. Where the mind is quiet and the sense of self is more flowy. Something is happening now, something you can't get at any other time of the year. Peace, take care, Merry Christmas

Journal # something

      I think there are some things I want to reflect on and share with someone, if at least with myself. I have continued to have cool experiences before I go to sleep at night. These experiences are like mini revelations. I am always thinking about stuff and often this thinking is semi-conscious while my attentions are divided on other things. When I go to sleep and have these experiences, they bring my thoughts to the forefront due to their potency, in a way that grabs my mind which is often not really interested in the flow of my consciousness. It grabs my mind in a way that is tied to feelings and I think memories from my childhood, both of these which correspond to dimensions of the soul, or human psychology that have completely disappeared from my life. The more awake I become, the more my soul is opened up. The more it opens, the more meaningful feelings and aspects of myself I both remember and discover. Often, both at the same time, which is quite a wondrous feeling. It is this deepening and re accessing of old feelings that really grabs my attention. Especially when it is dumped in my lap more abruptly.
     I will do my best to describe my experience last night. What I remember dealt with a deepening of my understanding and experience of God and I think also of the Universe. It was such a beautiful experience because it touched my heart in a way that I don't think I believed was possible. I was thinking about the notion of how God speaks to people and what that means. How one way I experience this is through the kind of divine aura of ascended masters that permeates into environment of my feeling experience. I was thinking how these masters are still people I think, and that their will is God's will. From this thought I wondered if there was a deeper dimension to God, a dimension where the individual was more merged with the Universe than how I imagined ascended masters to be. I realized, as I lay on my back in the dark, that it was possible for individual consciousness to go even further than I had imagined ascended masters to go. Not just individuals, but what makes us personal. I saw how God is really the complete integration of Universal Awareness. That god is a true singularity. Before I have wondered how personal God's intentions are, I questioned if God's will was limited to a more objective natural law. But last night I saw how the heart of the Universe is in fact the end point of the most personal and conscientious development of individual consciousness. How God's being is in fact born from the development of sentient life...Holy shit right?...I think I touched on a truth that is so real and profound that I hadn't known among the many other foundational truths that I have learned. Our minds are destined to become God's mind. At least subjectively, because it seems like objectively, all their is is God's mind, God's being, and god's will. But personally we evolve consciously to realize a single will that is the will of the whole universe. A single personal and intentional will. This will is in fact at the heart of who we are. It meant so much that God was so personal. I think it makes sense and was a brick in the wall of my understanding and feeling. I think I knew this in my heart and experience it on a daily basis. I feel that the universe is something extremely personal and intimate, that the will of God isn't dead, but is a living personal force. This feels more like the true heart of the universe. The true being which stands alone in the profundity of dark space. This is more of the nature of the mysterious light that shines impossibly in the void. 
     It's a really cool feeling to see how everything around is isn't random or lifeless. It is extremely personal and alive. The will that creates everything and is everything is a living being, with feelings, and perhaps even thoughts, desires. This passion and vitality seems more appropriate than my previous thoughts and perceptions. Anyway...